Memorial Day Weekend pt 2

Total tick count is two - - so far. I went to the country for the weekend and all I have to show for it is a couple of parasites burrowed into my crotch.

I lie. I also have a nice beard. I'm a hairy bugger y'all. And I'm debating keeping the mustache. Yeah, I know, mustaches are really out of vogue (even Tom Selleck finally ditched his). But I ask this in all seriousness, aren't they due for a comeback? The time is probably right for one.

I once knew this guy who continued to wear bell-bottoms well into the eighties when straight legged (or even tapered legs) were the demin kings. He loved his mighty flared pants and hung tenaciously onto them until finally he had to cry uncle and send them to dump. A few months after he bought his first pair of straight legs, bell-bottoms were chic again.

And so you see the hardcore mustache wearers are shaving there's off in droves. Surely a resurgence is in order. So maybe I'll keep mine and play it off as a gag. I won't let anyone know I'm trying to be preliminarily fashionable. I have a mighty mustache and await the coming trend and hope in my heart that hairy chests are not far behind.

I just got back from the country and my unread e-mail count is 400+ messages. Apple's mail has tagged 300 of them as junk so I disregard those and begin reading the rest. As I begin to read the rest it's painfully clear that spam blockers have a long, long way to go. It's all junk-mail, most having to do with viagra. I assume viagra is now America's drug of choice. Sorry oxicotonn you'll have to be content with the silver.

Usually, I can send messages to trash bin after reading there giveaway subject line. But occasionally some miss this test and get read. Case in point: The subject line that read, "regarding your ministry training." I bit the hook and opened the message.

"Become a legally ordained minister within 48 hours

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!

Perform Weddings, Funerals, Perform Baptisms, Forgiveness of Sins
Visit Correctional Facilities

Want to start your own church?"

I thought it was funny. In less than 48 hours you can become a minister? What have I been doing all these years?

In case you haven't heard my apple pie scored third in taste and dead laste in presentation. The pink lady apples make delicious dfilling. It was only my crust that caused it to lose. I lay the blame fully at baking instructions which told me to mix the topping until it resembled "wet sand". Wet sand? I did my best to follow the painfully obscure directions. Truth told, I didn't stand a chance because my aunt was really working over the judges. She took first place because of her secret ingredient, raisons. My secret ingredient, love, was just not good enough.

The talent show went off without a hitch. They went through a dull period but now they are really firing again. It didn't let me down. There was the token man in drag act and even a little black-face thrown in. This of course was my father doing a really bad Oprah impersonation. There was a hog calling contest, a claymation video, a judge-judy skit, and it closed with my uncle playing his sad country songs.

We had the family auction. The proceeds usually go toward maintenance and upkeep at the cabin but this time they were secretly being donated to my Dad to help with his medical bills due to his failing kidney. The "children's" book that I wrote and my sister Amanda illustrated and printed brought in over $300.00. It was embarrassing that it went for that much, as
it was filled with soggy sentiment and painful nostalgia. But in a way I feel good because I'm helping out my father in a small way.

I'm sorry to drone on but I must recount my Saturday morning run. It was going well and I was enjoying the change of scenery. However, I kept scanning the tree-tops waiting for a panther or something to pounce on to me. When I got to the end of the road, right before turning back five dogs came out of the woods. These were not miniature poodles. These were big, bad-a, country mongrels. They barked. I dropped to a walk. They growled. I didn't want to placate there primal urges and run. They would imagine me a gazelle or something and chase after me. I didn't let on that I was scared. I just ignored them and walked for a mile. Eventually they lost interest, thank the Lord, and turned back.

I'm done for now. I'll tell you about scrabble some other time.

Memorial Day Weekend

15 minutes and counting until my three-day weekend begins. We'll be spending it at our annual family reunion in Missouri. It's a redneck-fest if ever there was one complete with square dancing and apple pie contents. Admittedly it's only a pale reflection of what it once was. Which is to say that we no longer roast a hog on a spit.

But I'm prepared. I've got enough booze to kill a frat-house and my guitar.

I just want time off ---> now ---> now ---> right now!

Chinese Food

I ate Chinese yesterday from a trusted, reliable place that has never given me peanuts on the sly. This place, Hing-Wah, is a dive but the food is good. I usually carry-out but yesterday, with time to kill, I stayed in and ate for the first time. Without having anyone to talk to I just spent time looking around. There was the usual assortment of plastic Chinese decorations. A small ceramic Buddha sat on the counter, full of belly. A framed picture of a kitten hung slightly askew on the wall. Chinese decorations, Buddha - - - cat?. I saw these things while biting into a piece of "chicken".

My legs are incredibly fatigued. I had to bail early on my run yesterday morning so no telling how hard Saturday's "long-run" is going to be. Here it is Friday and I still h-u-u-u-r-t. I hope it's all in my mind.

I bought some drum mics in anticipation of the summer's recording season - - - > Rock and roll = happy.

Plasma Balls

It's the simple things that make life that much better . . .

Yesterday I made plasma balls in the microwave. Yeah, I know you'll want to do it to so here is how. You stick a toothpick in a piece of wax. The wax is just used for a base so the toothpick will stand upright. Next take a match and burn the toothpick until it gets charred. (Don't burn it all, just char it). While it's still hot and glowing (but not on fire) stick it in the microwave on high and watch the fun! It'll start humming and then launching plasma balls into the vent fan. The process by which this happens is still unexplained; however some researchers believe that this sometimes happens in nature and may be the explanation of some UFO sightings. It's cool.

. . .

Today Juliana Hatfields new album is released. I can't wait to get mine. Also there is the debut Paco album.

I came close to finishing our new song for(give/get) last night. I just downloaded it and the mix is too bassy so it sounds muddy. Back to the mixing board I go.

dreams

My dreams have become incredibly detailed as of late. They are filled with technical schematics and social policies.

and . . .

Are you ever singing songs at the meetings and realise that unless you are from the 1930's they are near impossible to sing properly. Try it out. Really throw on your best Judie Garland impersonation (early non-coked-out Judie Garland) and belt out the Kingdom songs next time. Warble and you'll nail it.

and . . .

Please help me win a microphone from the band Ivy. All you have to do is click on the following links. That's all. It's easy and for a good cause ---> Me and Rebekah's album. Hooray!

[links deleted]

paper boy

I was out running this morning with the paperboys and I suddenly had a flashback to the video game "paper-boy". It occurred to me if there ever was a lame premise for a game that had to be the best example. No fun in real-life. No fun in game-life. But then I remembered the Atari 2600 game "E.T." and had to retract my disdain.

Weekend Stuff

ow! Blogger has a slick new look. It even uses gradients which used to be a big www.no-no.

I'd like to say that I did something epic this weekend. I didn't. Here's what I did do:

Went on three seperate bike rides with Mina. One took us to the park and past a Chinese family making shish-ka-bobs on the grill. ---->

I made shish-ka-bobs. They were decent, but over cooked. Next time will be better. I got a lot of grill ingridients for the next week. It looks like it'll be all salads and grilled meats.

Rachel Johns had a graduation party in her back yard. It wasn't a lot of fun but it was good to go. She is going to Europe and I am envious.

Went to a book store. Went to a music store and picked up a couple used copies of older Juliana Hatfield albums. Juliana has really grown on me. I'm hopelessly 90's sometimes. I still need the one with "My Sister" on it so if anyone has a copy of it lying around, send it my way.

I played FF XI some, which is way too addictive. WAY TOO ADDICTIVE! Again, way too addictive.

Did my running program. I ran(walked) about 12 miles last week. It was a success in that I kept to my schedule. I haven't noticed any real improvements though but I'm sure they are coming.

Oh and I've been working on a 6a2 song called For(give/get). All that is lacking is a bass line and some backing vocals but the song in unbelievably HOT. It is pure radio Pop and while that in and of itself is nothing major it still feels like an accomplishment.

Race

You say extemporaneous speaking; I say winging it. Yes I was definately, "winging it" during my number 4 talk last night.

The ministry school conductor gave me a loaded gun and then told me not to fire it. More to the point I was given the theme, "Where did the various races come from?" and only a five minute time period to explain it and source material to stick to.

I've researched this subject to death as my personal Bible study begins with Genesis 1 and ends with Genesis 7. It was right up my alley. But I still learned some interesting things.

The idea of "race" is a racist concept if there ever was one and I'll be doing my part to abandon it's use. Science is proving that the idea is meaningless. The genetic difference between you and any other person in the world is around .2%. The difference between two white guys is .2%. The difference between a white guy and a black guy is .2%. Of that difference the part that we consider race, skin-color and eye shape only makes up .012%. For all intents and purposes there is no difference.

Yet we are indoctrinated with the idea that there are different races. It just creates an "us against them" attitude that continues to reer it's ugly head.

So if the Bible says that we just one race descended from Adam and Eve through Noah's sons and science says that we are one race descended from a common ancestor pair, why are we still clinging to the idea of "races"? If the term is meaningless, why continue to use it?

Going up on the stage I had a lot of thoughts, no notes, and a couple of scriptures jotted down. I proceeded to "wing-it" and listened for the sound of the airplane headed for the ground.

Running

blaze. the sun is blazing down. it's sad but we've skipped spring another year.

The ring and the pulse of the indiglo from my new Timex woke me up at 5:15am in the morning. I lay there in bed debating getting up, afterall it was a good hour earlier than my usual wake up call. But I talked myself into getting out, sliding into my trainers, and out the door. I hit the asphalt and did my scheduled 3 mile sleep walk/run which in my out-of-shape-langour took a good 45 minutes.

I'm glad I did because the sun would kill me if I did it now after work.

No pain ---> no gain ---> no game ---> It's my first exercise program.

Jeanette Winterson's published her new book, Lighthousekeeping, in the Uk. I'll be ordering it because I don't think that I can wait for the 2005 US release. I need a good book right now.

I'm tired . . . much too tired.

The best part about running is peeping in windows when I go by them. Maybe I have voyeuristic tendencies but nothing draws my interest like a wide open window and people inside. It's like an aquarium, just with people.

Oliver the Humanzee is just downright creepy.

Torture

When I saw those pictures of Iraq prisoners being tortured by Coalition forces I felt a natural sense of disgust and shame. I wondered how could anyone defend this kind of activity. Well this was the subject of a radio show yesterday and I was mortified as caller after caller called in to support our troops and justify this kind of gross abuse of power. The thoughts were that the military needs to do what it takes to accomplish a mission, to that this what these Iraqi people expect and that's how they should be treated. But looking at the pictures, this was not necessary business, it was fun and games. My new warehouse guy just got back from a tour in Iraq. I told him that envied him for getting to go over there and see those countries we can only read about it. He said yeah it was cool but it wasn't fun walking around fearing for your life and carrying a bullseye on your back.

Brandon came over and we worked a little bit on Mr. Tough Guy, the final song for the 6a2 album. I don't know how many Mondays it'll take to finish and refine all of these, but eventually it'll happen.

You want to know how impulsive I am? Very. I signed up to run a marathon next January. The mid-life crisis (yes, I'm only living to 50) is in full swing.

50 Foot Wave

What a jam-packed Saturday.

Since it was the first Saturday of the month we met at the Kingdom Hall for service arrangements instead of at individual book study groups. This usually provides a good opportunity to skip out and take the day off; but, I had a personal invitation from a guy to work with him so . . . I did ---> afterall it's new and improved Anthony.

After Service I had my running commitment that was totally trying to duck out of. I told the brother, "Isn't it too cold to go running?". He responded, "Oh no, 45 is the perfect running temperature." I looked out the window and asked, "What about the rain?" He smiled, "We'll wear hats." And so . . . I did ---> afterall it's the new improved Anthony

Of course I should enjoy running after I actually got out and did it. When I've ran in the past it has been around a track, alone. Running through the trails around the college and with company added a lot. Jim was cracking me up because he is the kind of guy that throws himself at everything he does, headfirst without regard for damage, be it talks, or running. He kept coaching me and analysing my form and questioning my shoe choice. Speaking of form, I've got to throw this in. He runs like a muppet. Grover, to be exact. "Neeeearrrrr - faaaaar". Yes, I'll do it again.

Afterward we headed out to Champagne, Illinois to catch 50 Foot Wave playing at the High Dive. It was a three-hour drive but probably the shortest distance we've ever driven to see Kristin Hersh play. Well it was supposed to be a three-hour drive but I took a wrong turn and ended up cruisin' toward Chicago or something. Once we figured it out we had to cut across farm-land and stray from the insterstate but we made it. (I think this may have turned out to be shortcut - if you figure in the speeding. I wish I had my rally car.)

First off the Highdive is absolutely incredible. It was a little more hip than the clubs I'm used to. Most of the clubs that I know of are seedy at best. Immediately we met Marie and Amanda from Decatur. Marie was bubbly and Amanda earthy but both were decent people to sit with and wait for a show. Amanda plays the marimba which I found totally fascinating. It was easy to make friends with them, possibably to a fault. Marie kindly asked us whether or not we would be interested in going outside to smoke some pot. Ha. "We're Jehovah's Witnesses we don't do that you know, but thanks." Yes we did get a little informal Witnessing time.

I also saw this guy that bore an uncanny resemblance to Jason Lee. Particularly Banky from Chasing Amy. I had to ask him if he was aware of it and yes he was. He thanked me for noticing. His name was Chris and he was neighbors or something to guy who runs parasol records.

The club was bare ---> pathetically bare when 50 Foot Wave took the stage. It was just me and Jon Lovitz (picture)and Rebekah up front. (You'd be amazed at how my love for people has grown when you see talking with my old archnemesis Jon Lovitz.)

50 Foot Wave was intense and loud. Kristin seems to be funnelling all of her aggression through her guitar instead of her voice, which I feel is dissapointing. In the past how she was singing and what she was singing was more important that what she was playing. Their song "Clara Bow" was the highlight for me, namely because it was the closest to Throwing Muses material.