Annoucement: Blog Closed & Moved

I would like to take this opportunity to announce the close of this blog and the introduction of my new website and blog.
If you have been reading my blogs you may have noticed a progression over time.

The first blog that I started I kept from March 2003 to September 2004. It wasn't necessarily public, but just something I shared with family and friends. Back then I tended to write about the everyday things that were happening in my life, mostly whatever project was distracting me at the time - playing and recording music, writing novels, and marathon training.

It was at the end of the September of 2004 that I began to have a spiritual awakening which lead to my being born again in 2005. During this time I didn't really keep a blog, save for a few scattered entries.

When I picked up blogging again in August 2005, the subjects I would write about reflected this change in my life. I occasional still spoke of the everyday things of life but began focusing more in more on what I was reading and learning in Scripture through the Holy Spirit.

At that time I will still active within the Jehovah's Witnesses organization, the religion I was born and raised in. Because I had been tipped off that the congregation elders were monitoring my blog to make sure my views were invariance with the official teachings of the Watchtower's governing body I tended to censor myself somewhat and to be careful at how I worded things.

Despite my care, eventually my blog did become part of the evidence that lead to a judicial committee (religious tribunal) being brought against me. Incidentally, it was the statement from the February 26, 2006 entry Rock or Sand? that was seemed to be the problem:

"We recognize that the brotherhood that we love so much does not belong to a legal body or any men taking the lead among us; but rather it belongs to Christ who is the head of the congregation."

After being disfellowshipped from the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses in the Spring of 2006 I had more freedom to express myself and the things I was learning. Since then began to write less and less about the everyday things of my life and more about Bible topics of Christian spirituality.

Now as I look back that the older parts of this blog I don't feel that it really represents where I am right now so much as the path I've taken. At first I thought about closing and removing this blog entirely. However I discussed this with a friend and they suggested that I keep it as perhaps some may benefit from reading through this progression. I'm inclined to agree.

For what it is worth while I will no longer be posting anything new to this blog I will be leaving it up. Additionally, I have added most of the contents of my previous blog that has been off line for some time. (All entries prior to August 2005)

I plan to continue blogging at my new home at anthonymathenia.com. It will continue the general format of the last few months - though with less focus on my personal life, unless it specifically relates to my discipleship and life in Christ.

Yours in Christ,


Anthony

Simplicity is Beautifully Deep

It was on the drive back from the creek where I was baptised that I reflected on the simplicity of that act of immersion. You simply go under the water and you come back up.

When I wrote to my friends and family to tell about my baptism my sister wrote back, "Looks like all those years of practicing at Sugar Shack paid off."

"Sugar Shack" was what we called my grandparents' cabin in rural Missouri. It had a creek nearby where we would swim and play. How many times have I went under the water at a creek playing baptism?

Baptism - so simple a child could emulate it.

It is the same with the sacrament of the Lord's Supper. The elements are common table items, bread and wine. The breaking of the bread, the passing of the cup - these were something that Jesus' disciples had done numerous times before. Yet this is what Jesus gives them to remember his sacrifice and his coming. Something old. Something new.

But these simple acts unfold to have a depth of meaning.

How deep?

So deep that 2,000 year later I still don't think we have the complete picture. It seems we can meditate on the symbolism and the meaning endlessly. And maybe that is why religious denominations have felt the need to dress these simple acts up with a bunch of pomp and ceremony. But really that is not necessary.

Regarding the Lord's Supper, Paul says, "For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; ... and in the same way took a cup" - 1 Cor 11:23

The apostle gives just as he received and felt no need to add decoration and tinsel. It is already beautifully simple and simply deep.

One of things I have recently begun to appreciate about the Old Testament scriptures is even in the everyday accounts and stories of people there is so much symbolism. People back then were just living their life but fast forward thousands of years and we see all these little things point to bigger realities (or perhaps the bigger reality, Jesus). In the OT Jesus' is found in the most normal of places. He is in people watering sheep and feeding flocks and growing grain and making tents and kneading bread and fighting battles and getting married and ...

A friend once jokingly asked, "Why do we need to know that Esau was a hairy man and Jacob was a smooth man?"

Because it means something.

And here is a secret -- your life means something too. If we could teleport thousands of years into the future and look back at your life . Yet if our eyes are open today,I know that God can give us peeks. In looking back at my own life I have seen the greater realities of things that seemed insignificant at the time.

What happens when we keep our eyes open to find God in the simple things of everyday life? We make interesting discoveries. Such as --

The Kingdom of Heaven is like scrambled eggs.

My friend had that revelation in a cabin as we were making breakfast. As she explains it:

"First he break us out of our shells. Then whips us together. The yolk of spirit overwhelms the egg white flesh, and colors our live. He applies heat, and we become a mixture of cooked and partially cooked. The longer the heat is applied, the more even and of substance we become. All the seperate eggs, are now of one body, one existence, a new creation."

It may sound crazy but Jesus was constantly using little things like dough, scattered seeds, and fishing nets to explain big concepts like the Kingdom.

Once Jesus told this parable:

"Or what woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search thoroughly until she finds it? Then when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels over one sinner who repents.” - Luke 15:38

Think about a woman that actually had this happen to her. When she was busy sweeping the floor searching for her coin she didn't know that secretly she was acting out a divine truth about God's nature. How often in your life are you simply going about your simple business unaware there is a grand mystery in what you are simply doing?

Your life is a parable.

Paul is aware of this fact. To the Ephesians he begins by giving what seems to be advice for marital relationships between a husband and wife but then concludes by saying, "It is a great mystery ... I speak concerning Christ and the church." - Ephesians 5:22-32

Imagine that. Humans had been getting married for ages completely unaware that the everyday concept of marriage concealed a great mystery about Jesus and his congregation. This is just a small bit of a larger whole because as Christians everything in our lives has spiritual meaning. Our whole life becomes a sacrifice and an act of worship and even in simple everday things like eating and drinking we can glorify God.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." - Romans 12:1

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

Look A Body Of Water ...

It is my joy to say that I underwent water baptism this Sunday. Before I speak about it I would like to talk about what brought me to this point in my life.

It was actually the second time I have been baptised by water. I was originally baptised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses as a young teenager. When your parents are Jehovah's Witnesses typically there is subtle pressure for a young Witness to get baptised, around the age of sixteen, if not sooner. This is particularly true when the father in the family is serving as a Ministerial Servant (Deacon) or an Elder. If their children do not take a public stand of faith by baptism the congregation may view the parent as not "presiding over his household in a fine manner" and thus they may be pressured to step aside from their congregation responsibilities. There is also pressure in a peer group. It is not unusual that if one teenager in a congregation decides to get baptised that his friends will follow. Again, sometimes this segways into parental pressure. If a Witness youth puts off baptism they may begin to be viewed as "bad association" and their peers in the congregation may be discouraged from spending too much time socializing with them.

Personally, I recognized that there was an expectation for me to get baptised. A few of my friends had already taken that step and because my natural father was the Presiding Overseer of the congregation there was always the undercurrent that we, his children, had to set an example. Though, I can't say that I really felt pressure to get baptised. Since I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses I always assumed that at some point I would get baptised sooner or later. What really motivated my decision to do so was actually a bus trip.

Jehovah's Witnesses are often encouraged to make it a point to visit the religion's world headquarters and printing facility, called Bethel, in Brooklyn, NY. Because of this congregations sometimes will arrange bus tours to visit Brooklyn Bethel. One such occasion there was a bus trip coming up and a couple of my friends were going and I was really wanting to go too. However, the tour group organizer had set the stipulation that only baptised children would be able to go on this particular trip. This prompted me to go ahead and get baptised. Again, I always assumed that I would get baptised and this trip only provided the impetus for me to go ahead with it. At that time I had a love for God and felt that baptism was the right thing to do.

Witnesses have three large gatherings annually, called assemblies and conventions, during which there is time set aside for public baptisms. The majority of those getting baptised will be Jehovah's Witness' children along with a few converts from their "door-to-door" ministry work. Before being "approved" for baptism, a baptismal canditate will have undergone a series of meetings with congregation elders to go over a set of questions. The questions are arranged to make sure that any one getting baptised into the religion will have a general knowledge of the moral and theological teachings of the Jehovah's Witness religion. At the assembly or convention they will listen to a talk about their baptism and then will be asked to rise and publically affirm their faith by answering "yes" to two questions. Since, 1985 the questions have been as follows:

On the basis of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, have you repented of your sins and dedicated yourself to Jehovah to do his will?

Do you understand that your dedication and baptism identify you as one of Jehovah's Witnesses in association with God's spirit-directed organization?

I got baptised at a circuit assembly in St. Louis, MO that would have had an attendence of about 700. On my baptism day, I was surprised to find that my natural father was giving baptismal talk, a secret that he had kept. At the appointed time I rose and answered "yes" to the two questions not knowing what the ramifications of such would later prove to be.

It would be about fifteen years later that the second question would come back against me. At that time I was undergoing a judicial committee (religious tribunal) under the charges of apostasy. In a private discussion with a couple of congregation elders I had revealed that I didn't believe some of the religion's teachings on matters of organizational arrangement and prophecy. This set me up to the potential of being disfellowshipped (excommunicated) from the religion if I did not repent during a judicial meeting.

It was during this judicial meeting and the subsequent appeal meeting that I was continually told that by disagreeing with "God's organization" I was reputiating my baptism and the second question that I had publically said "yes" to. I tried to explain that I was just a child and that I thought my baptism was simply out of love for God and that I didn't recognize that it would legally bind me to the religion and its ever-changing beliefs and prophetic interpretations.

I was disfellowshipped and in the aftermath I really had to give thought to my baptism therein. In the eyes of the religion and those in it my baptism was into an organization - an organization I was no longer a part of and had no desire ever to be a part of again. I did some study on baptism and compared what I was seeing in Scripture and Christian history to what I had raised to believe. These studies were written up into the following blog entries:

Into Who or What are We Baptised?
Is Baptism a Symbol of Dedication?
Is the Baptism of Children Scriptural?

What I've found is that many former Witnesses in my situation have gone back and questioned their baptism - particularly if they were baptised since 1986. (Prior to 1986 the second baptismal question focused on the holy spirit but afterward it was changed to the "spirit directed organization") I was no different. I thought about it from time to time; but, I wasn't moved to be re-baptised. I reasoned that since I had since been baptised in Holy Spirit that there was no need for me to have a water baptism again. But even then I always left open the possiblity that I might sometime have a "look a body of water" moment.

(This is in reference to the Ethiopian eunuch of Acts 8:26-40. In the account this Ethiopian eunuch is in a chariot, leaving Jerusalem, and reading from Isaiah. The spirit moves Philip the evangelist to join himself to the eunuch and strike up a conversation. Upon hearing about Jesus the eunuch believes and seeing a body of water he asks, "look a body of water! What prevents me from getting baptised!" Philip agrees and baptises him in the name of Jesus.)

Recently a friend and I were looking at baptism again and she was speaking about her desire to get rebaptised in the name of Jesus. I shared my feelings about how I had received the spirit baptism and she pointed out how Cornelius and his family received the baptism of the spirit before being water baptised. This stirred my thinking and over the next few weeks I continued to get that spirit "prod" about water baptism.

So just Sunday I was happy to get baptised with my friends - of course they are more than friends and are really my only family. We went out to the country and after traveling down rock roads we found a spot a deep spot in a creek and took the plunge. It was a beautiful, wonderful experience. In looking at the pictures I doubt we could have bigger smiles.

Later that night Rebekah was questioning me about my feelings. She knew that up until a month ago that I wasn't really considering baptism. She asked if I felt different, more complete. I said mostly I just felt happy and at peace. But, I think there was something more to it for me.

I think about those in the first century that had been baptised by John the baptist; but, later got baptised in the name of Jesus. Was my first baptism a symbol of something? Yes - love for God, a dedication to him, and as much repentance as a child can manifest. However, in the Scripture baptism in all about Jesus and honestly I didn't even consider him in my original baptism. But this baptism was completely about him and my death and life in him. My first baptism was into a religious organization and my second into the Son of God. And in this way it feel likes a "rite of passage". I feel that just as my first water baptism was into a religion my second baptism was out of it. In truth, although I've been officially out of the Jehovah's Witnesses religion for over a year there was something that changed when I went under that water. I feel like that former life is finally behind me and I'm happy for the future.





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I wasn't the only one to get baptised that day! My friends' account are here and here.

Fruitage of the Spirit - Part 5 "Patience"

This month the Spiritual quality that we will consider is patience. The Greek word for patience is makrothymia and it literally means "longness of spirit". This quality encompasses being slow to anger and purposeful endurance and forbearance while suffering. A person who is patient can be considered as being steadfast - reliable, faithful, and true to the end.

Almighty God is the ultimate example of patience and forbearance. The Old Testament scriptures continually refer to God as one who is "slow to anger". (Exodus 34:6; Joel 2:13) Paul refers to Him as the "God of endurance" (Romans 15:5)

From the time of the fall of Adam forward mankind was under a death sentence. Yet the patience of God was made manifest by his redemptive plan for humanity. Peter encourages us to "regard the patience of our Lord as salvation" (2 Peter 3:15) God is not quick to anger to destroy anyone but allows time for repentance. (2 Peter 3:9,10) Similarly Paul writes, "Or do you have contempt for the wealth of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, and yet do not know that God's kindness leads you to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)

As Christians we need to be conforming ourselves to the Word of God, the teachings of Jesus. Thus we are not allowed to defend ourselves as Jesus commands, "Do not resist an evil person" (Matthew 5:39) When confronted with adversarial individuals the natural, fleshly reaction is self-defense. Even if we are not prone to physical violence our tendency may be to verbally stand up for ourselves. It is at times like this that we need to seek the spirit and manifest supernatural patience. James encourages us, "My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience." (James 5:10)

The biggest opportunity to show patience is in the face of suffering, adversity and persecution. In this, Jesus is such an amazing example of patient endurance. He embodied patience under severe trials. In prophetically writing about him the prophet Isaiah said, "He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth." (Isa 53:7)

From a fleshly perspective such a seemingly complacent attitude may be viewed as a sign of weakness but according to God's word it is actually greater than physical strength. "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." (Proverbs 16:32, NIV) Jesus proved this to be true. When he was crucified in weakness he triumphed over the enemy. Of him it is said, "Disarming the rulers and authorities, he made a public disgrace of them, triumphing over them by the cross." (Col 2:15)

Patience is an identifying mark of Christians as God's servants. (2 Cor 6:4-6) As the "elect of God" we are required to clothe ourselves with patience. (Col 3:12) Patient endurance is a vital component of our salvation. (Mat 24:13) When we experience suffering we can rejoice knowing that our suffering, produces endurance along with character and hope. (Romans 5:3,4) The author of the epistle to the Hebrews encourages them to endure in the faith while suffering instead of shrinking back. It is through such faithful patience that we preserve our souls. (Hebrews 10:32-39) In Revelation Jesus himself commends his congregation for their "steadfast endurance" (Rev 2:2,19) This patience is not something that comes naturally from within the fallen flesh but rather it is a gift from God for it is he who is able to "direct [our] hearts … toward the endurance of Christ." (2 Thess 3:5)

Patience does not just come into play when dealing with those that we might consider as enemies but also with our brother and sisters in Christ. Within the congregation patience is required in our "putting up with one another." (Eph 4:2) We all are works in progress and at different points in our spiritual walk and within the Christian family there are both mature and young. So again we are urged by Paul, "be patient toward all." (1 Th 5:14) Because God is patient with us we are required to be patient with one another. (Romans 15:5)

In dealing with his disciples, whom he considered as friends, Jesus manifested such patience. His apostles were often slow to understand the lessons that Jesus was trying to impart and they were quick to break into squabbles and arguments. The Lord patiently dealt with them and the outcome was positive. These ones became good examples in imitation of Jesus and the foundation of his congregation. (Eph 2:20)

A key element then in patience is hope. Whether we are enduring on behalf of friends or foes we do so with the hope of a change in the situation. And this hope is not just for our personal relief. Just as God is patient with us in hope that we will change our hope is that even an enemy will turn around and seek repentance. We also hope in our own salvation that is promised to those who endure to the end.

Worms in my Manna

When hurricane Katrina hit I was a bit thrown off-guard and filled with fear. The hurricane was bad enough but the aftermath was brutal. The media painted a picture of horror; where the lawlessness of people was only matched by the failure of government. The whole situation made me anxious and I began at that time to read up on survival and started making a store of food and supplies. I even called up my family and frantically suggested they do the same. After the turmoil of the disaster I continued to add to our food stock, though less zealously.

On a later occasion my daughter had run out of ramen noodles and we raided our survival store for a package for her. Upon opening and cooking it we discovered worms. We thought it may have just been an accident, but another package revealed the very same thing. Our food store was contaminated with larvae! In this I believe that God was teaching me an important lesson I would like to share.

Recently I've begun to get a deeper appreciation of the Biblical account of Israel's exodus from Egypt and trek through the wilderness toward the promised land. Throughout this, God was bringing the nation to himself as a collective son and preparing their hearts to receive him as Father and enter into his rest. With the ten plagues he brought against Pharoah he was proving his power and superiority over all the false gods of the Egyptians. He then brought his chosen people to a place of weakness in order to prove himself as a savior and provider. At the Red Sea he proved that he could save them from Pharoah's army. In their journey through the wilderness he was proving that he could provide their needs for food, water, and clothing. The wilderness was designed to bring the people into complete dependence and trust in Jehovah.

Reading the book of Numbers, it describes the nation of Israel's absolute failure to learn these lessons and believe in God. At each leg of their travel we are faced with their hardened hearts and incessant complaining. This culminates in a total failure as they reached the promised land of Canaan. Of twelve spies that were sent across the Jordan river to scope out the land, only two, Joshua and Caleb, expressed confidence that the Lord would give them the land. The others expressed fear that couldn't take the land from the inhabitants. The nation of Israel sided with the ten spies that brought an unfavorable report and refused to trust in God's promises. As a result that entire generation, with the exception of Joshua and Caleb, had to wander the wilderness until they perished. Their failure is rooted in the sin of disbelief.

The New Testament book of Hebrews contains an encouragement for Christians not to be like that unbelieving generation. The author writes, "Take care, brethren, that none of you may have an evil, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. ... Let us therefore make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one may fall through such disobediance as theirs." (Hebrews 3:12) In our lives today we need to learn from that group's failure and believe and trust in the Lord.

The Word of God prophecies to a time of great turmoil and tribulation; a time when the people of God will not even be able to buy and sell. (Matt 24:21; Rev 13:17) In looking ahead at the potential of great global upheaval it is the natural reaction of the flesh to become axious and want to make physical preperations for salvation. I have found this to be particularly true in some Christian circles that focus on the "end times". For instance some ministries have been sponsored by companies that sell survival gear and foods. Some Christians are even laying up weapons for protection. Personally though, I'm increasingly of the opinion that laying up and putting our trust in such supplies can run contrary to the Word of God.

When I was faced with worms in my ramen I was reminded of what happened to Israelites in the wilderness. Having run out of food they complained to Moses saying, "If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this desert to kill this whole assembly with hunger!” (Exodus 16:3) God heard their complaint and told Moses that he would bring bread down from heaven, which the people called "manna".

In providing manna, God stipulated that each person was to gather only what their family could each that day; nothing was to be left over until the next morning. They were not to store up but had to manifest faith that God would continue to provide manna each and every morning for them. The people, being hard in heart, did not listen. The Scriptures describe what happened saying, "But they did not listen to Moses; some kept part of it until morning, and it was full of worms and began to stink, and Moses was angry with them." (Exodus 16:20) In much the same way, my stock of ramen was full of worms and virtually inedible.

Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, gives us these similar life lessons. He teaches us to be content with what we have each day and not to worry about storing for the future. He tells us to pray, "Give us today our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11) He says, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own." (Matt 6:34) Jesus says, “Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal." (Matt 6:19,20)

We may reason that this advice is well and good for everyday living; but, that desperate times call for desperate measures. With this in mind, it is important than to look at what Jesus said regarding the coming destruction of Jerusalem which was the worst tribulation ever to befall the nation.

"So when you see the abomination of desolation – spoken about by Daniel the prophet – standing in the holy place (let the reader understand), then those in Judea must flee to the mountains. The one on the roof must not come down to take anything out of his house, and the one in the field must not turn back to get his cloak." (Matt 24:17,18)

It is noteworthy that Jesus did not encourage his disciples to store up emergency rations in order to last through the time of trial. Such supplies would have been short lived when the Romans barricaded the city. At that time, a famine set in and things got so desperate that children were being eaten by parents. But even if they had stocked up supplies, they would have done no good, because Jesus commanded the people to instantly flee to the mountains without regard to any such provisions. According to Jesus, if a man was outside of his house he shouldn't run back inside for anything, including food and clothing. Similarly the man in the field shouldn't go back to get his cloak. This is an important detail because In Jesus' day the cloak was essential, minimal survival gear for travelers. It kept them warm in the elements and was also used as bedding. Thus, following Jesus' command during that day of disaster would have required total depedance on God and belief that he would provide and take care of their needs.

The Scriptures time and again call for us to trust in God and not in the arm of the flesh. Though some measure of provision may be practical it would be a mistake for us to put our faith and trust in such. Jesus tells us to store up treasures in heaven. When we believe and allow our Heavenly Father to provide for us now it is like storing up everlasting provisions for the future. If we build trust in reliance in Him today we will be prepared for any trial that can come upon us, great and small. We need to manifest faith that if necessary in times of trial our Father can even miraculously feed us by raining bread from heaven or by having ravens bring us food. (1 Kings 17:6) In Revelation when the "woman" flees to the wilderness it is to a place prepared by God where she is taken care of by him - not by her own devices. (Rev 12:6, 14)

Again God is ready to bring to ruin all the false gods of the world, represented by Egypt. Anything that man has put his trust in such as money, insurance, government, banks, medicine, and secular employment will be brought to nothing. And again God will bring his people into a wilderness where they will have to rely on him. At that time we will have no choice but to believe in God or perish. Those that have faith will be lead into the promised land and enter into God's rest.

Truth, A Screenplay

What follows in an introduction to a screenplay I wrote in 2002. It is available with the original screenplay as a 6x9 paperbook book for $10.00. It can be ordered here.

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The other day my wife and I were engaging in spring-cleaning. Finding ourselves running short on needed storage space we decided to tackle "the drawer". I suspect that every house has one or two of these drawers that seem to collect all things, lost and forgetten about – the at-home equivalent of a black hole. As we dug through the drawer we found checks to bank accounts we no longer had, a DVD borrowed from a friend that we have since lost track of, and several magazines we no longer read. As we neared the bottom I unearthed an early draft of the screenplay you are holding in your hand.

My interest in filmmaking ultimately goes back to my childhood friend Casey. Casey had a father who was a movie buff and made little Super-8 films as a hobby. As kids, Casey and I started playing with his dad’s camera and having just seen an “edited for TV” version of Terminator 2, were particularly enamored with special effects. Our effects were very low-tech and consisted of stop-motion clay "slugs" dripping out of faucets and crawling into my brother's nose. Around that time we got involved in pyrotechnics and began filming model buildings that we blew up. (I'm quite fortunate to have both hands to type this.) Like most projects that Casey and I were involved in, the Super 8 filmmaking kind of fell by the wayside for other passing interests, such as music, video game programming, and to some extent girls. I don’t know whatever became of that Super-8 film footage. Perhaps it is lost the bot-tom of a drawer in his parent’s house.

With Casey and I, hobbies went in cycles and some years later when we were teenagers we again got interested in film-making and special effects. Casey had upgraded from stop-motion claymation to computer animation and digital effects software. We talked somewhat about making a Star Wars “fan film” and did some brain storming sessions of plot-points and performed limited location scouting. (I envisioned that with some added decoration the oil refineries that dotted my backyard might look just like a spaceport.) In the special effect department Casey had figured out how to rotoscope the all important light saber glow over our homemade PVC lightsabers. I admit that I was pretty excited when I saw that test footage of us stepping through a choreographed lightsaber duel with spot-perfect lazer effects. Yet ultimately my heart wasn’t really into that sort of moviemaking. At this time I was much more interested in doing a smaller, personal film.

This change in preference was mainly because I began to take an interest in Independent Cinema. I would often go to the Tivoli theatre in University City and see the latest indie films and attend the annual St. Louis film festival. It was at this time that ultra-low budget films like Slackers and Clerks were begin-ning to make filmmaking more accessible to the everyman. Whereas before making a movie was a bit of a daydream at least now it was practical if you had enough credit cards. This be-came even truer when digital video became an option. Suddenly making a film was immediately feasible with a minimal amount of money and a prosumer DV camcorder. This caused me to really start looking seriously at the possibly of making a feature film. But, before I could have something to put up on a screen, I needed a screenplay.

The first screenplay that I ever wrote was called Knocked Up. It was a comedy revolving around a young married couple that is suddenly faced with the possibility of an unexpected pregnancy. Because my wife and I were just in such a situation it was familiar subject matter. When I wrote it my favorite writer/director was Kevin Smith and my script was heavily in-fluenced by his style. That is to say it contained rapid-fire dialogue and was heavily punctuated with four-letter words and crude humor.

I held the idea that I would one day film it; but since I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses I knew there would be serious repercussions if I ever did so. In the United States, Jehovah’s Witnesses unofficially, yet very forcefully, shun R-rated films and if Knocked Up was ever made it would have been pushing the limits of an R – and for that matter good taste. So I settled on the idea that I would try to sell it as a spec screenplay and hide behind a pseudonym. In the end, I never really pursued it and I put it to bed. After multiple computer changes and hard drive failures I lost track of that screenplay. All things said, that is a good thing. When I came to Christ in 2005 I probably would have burned it anyway.

Because I still wanted to make a film I decided this time to make it on a subject matter that I could actually bring to the screen without getting expelled from the Watchtower Organiza-tion in the process. I thought what better way to do it than to write about being one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Since I was born into the religion and was a devout JW this was something I knew all about.

At the time I had been married for a few years and was, I guess, transitioning into adulthood and looking back at my teen years. I was working with my dad doing home improvement and there was a considerable drive time to and from the job during which I daydreamed about what my story would look like. I thought I might center it around the annual District Convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses; which, for Witnesses was an important event.

I finished the first draft of Truth in 1999, which was then called Fall in reference to the season the film takes place and it also served as a subtle foreshadowing of the dramatic center-piece of the story-arc. Whereas Knocked Up took me many months to complete Fall took only about a month. It helped that much of it was based on my own recent experience-though greatly distilled and then embellished.

Finding it again this year prompted me to sit down and read through it. After finishing the first draft I renamed it Truth as I wanted to give a truthful account of what it meant to be "in the Truth", a phrase that Jehovah's Witnesses use describe being in their organization. To say you are "in the truth" is to say you are one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Though this work is fiction many of these characters are amalgams of people I know or situations I have been in. Be-cause, I would never be able to film at a District Covention I decided to keep things small and instead center the events around a house party. Apart from the weekly religious meetings and ministry service, parties and gatherings were generally the high points of our lives.

This particular party takes place in "the city". Growing up we often joked about "city witnesses"; because they tended to be a little less strict with their morals. Outwardly the confessed the same moral code that we did but their lifestyle was much more divergent with their beliefs.

All things considered our lives were relitively care free and I feel that the script reflects that childhood naievity. Of course there was the typical girl-boy drama; but the only major trauma that we tended to face was losing friends who were dis-fellowshipped, removed from the congregation. This may seem relatively minor to an outsider but to one of Jehovah's Witnesses being disfellowshipped is the equivalent to dying. If a friend got disfellowshipped you knew there would be a good chance you would never seem them again, they may as well be dead.

For me it would be interesting to look at these characters now ten years laters. What would have become of them? Most of the characters seem pretty confident in their religion and strong in their faith. They love being Jehovah's Witnesses and envision no other future apart from their religion. Yet that is how I once was and now I see things quite differently and therein lies the biggest irony. When writing Truth the character I mostly indentified with was Ash. While Ash argues hard against "leaving the truth", I have now done just that very thing.

In restrospect looking at the script, the character of Felicia stands out. In writing the screenplay I was on a certain level working out my feelings that I had about a friend of mine that had been disfellowshipped a couple of years earlier. Though in looking at the character of Felicia I believe she made some wrong choices in life she was at least honest about it and in that way is perhaps more true than others "in the Truth".

Regretably, in real life I cut her off after she was disfel-lowshipped and thought little of it thinking I was doing the right thing. When I was disfellowshipped myself some ten years later I was moved to contact her and apologise for dropping her so quickly and shunning her. I wish I could say that she ac-cepted my apology; but as might be expected she had some animosity toward me for my cruel treatment of her over the years and for that I am sorry.

While I started out attempting to write a screenplay that I could put on film and not get removed from the religion I won-der how ultimately Truth would have been received had I finished the project. In my attempt to make it honest and truth-ful to my personal experience I didn't hold back from painting a picture that may have been poorly received by Jehovah's Wit-nesses who are generally not use to anything but glowing portrayals of their religion as some sort of moral utopia or “spiri-tual paradise”. It would no doubt have been shocking to hear a character confess to premarital sex and admit that it was enjoy-able to them. Even more to have a character confess to homosexual feelings, though not acted upon, was definitely ta-boo and would have made many extremely uncomfortable.

When I originally set out to write the dialogue my goal was to speak the truth and now I still want to keep things true to my perspective back then as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Though I have been removed from the religion and will have detractors because of that, my desire is to honestly say in pre-senting this screenplay that it was written by one Jehovah’s Witnesses. I may not agree with it but it still stands as an honest portrayal of how things were then, or at least how I perceived them to be.

So why release a screenplay to a film that was never made? I guess rather than put the script back in the drawer and lose it again to time I decided to make it available in this printed format so that at the very least it can move from my junk drawer to my bookshelf. In preparing this screenplay for print I made the decision not to make any changes to the last draft I wrote in 2002, with the exception of correcting spelling and punctuation. This was not an easy thing at times as in retrospect some of things the characters say now make me cringe.

I've given up any dreams of ever making this film (or any film) as I'm quite content and busy in other efforts in quiet serv-ice of the Lord. In putting this out to the public I hope that some may find it of interest to read. In particular if you were one of Jehovah's Witnesses and a young adult in the 1990's you may be able to relate to some of the characters and the feelings they express.

Looking back at my life a teenager and young adult within the Jehovah's Witnesses religion I have few misgivings. I cherish my old friends and think fondly of many good times we had. Compared to many of our peers we tended to live a better life and were highly moral. When it came to the Bible we were educated and literate - albeit, from a Watchtower-centric per-spective. My one real regret though is that while we were outwardly moral and heavily involved in a religious system that we too often missed having a true, inner relationship with God and even more so with Jesus Christ. Today my relationship with the Father and the Son is the most precious thing in my life and for me it took leaving the Watchtower organization to gain them.

As previously mentioned, when the characters in the screenplay speak about “the Truth” they are talking about the Jehovah’s Witness religion, as is the title. What I’ve come to discover is that ultimately “the truth” is not an organization, or a set of religious teachings, or even a concept of right – “the Truth” is an individual, Jesus Christ. Just as Jesus says about himself, “I am . . . the Truth” (John 14:16)

In the opening scene of the screenplay, the character Ash says, “It never fails that the most dramatic upheavals in my life always take place during the fall.” At one time this was true for me but in the last few years this has shifted from the fall to the spring. Spring is typically the season for renewal and it was dur-ing that season that I came to the Lord. Religions tend to call such an experience by different terms such as being “anointed, “born again”, “receiving the Holy Spirit”. I don’t really know what to call it but I know it happened and it was powerful and it turned my life around and ultimately lead me right out of the Je-hovah’s Witness organization into the arms of Heaven. It gave me an initial glimpse of Jesus and like the apostle Paul the goal of my life since then is to ultimately “know Him” (Phil 3:10) Today I am very happy to be free in getting to know that real Truth that exists outside of religious organizations.

Paul's "Thorn In The Flesh"

Even because of the extraordinary character of the revelations. Therefore, so that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me – so that I would not become arrogant. I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me. But the Lord said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. - 1 Corinthians 12:7-10, NET

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A common interpretation about this passage is that when Paul speaks of having a "thorn in the flesh" he is speaking of some kind of physical sickness or infirmity. Poor eyesight is often suggested. However, in the looking at this scripture that appears to be a misconception.

It is helpful first to look at the different occasions in Scripture where similar terms to "thorn in the flesh" are used. In each of these cases the term very clearly relates to human adversaries and not physical illness.

"But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land before you, then those whom you allow to remain will be irritants in your eyes and thorns in your side, and will cause you trouble in the land where you will be living." - Numbers 33:55

"know for certain that the Lord our God will no longer drive out these nations from before you. They will trap and ensnare you; they will be a whip that tears your sides and thorns that blind your eyes until you disappear from this good land the Lord your God gave you." - Joshua 23:13

"Therefore I also said, ‘I will not drive them out before you; but they shall be thorns in your side, and their gods shall be a snare to you.’" - Judges 2:3

Viewing this "thorn in the flesh" as adversaries also works more in harmony with the verse itself. Paul also calls this "thorn in the flesh", a "messenger of Satan". The Greek word here translated as "messenger" is angelos. It is alternatively rendered as "angel" by some translators in cases where they believe the context indicates a spirit messenger rather than a human. The word here transliterated as "Satan" literally means "adversary, accuser".

Paul says that this "thorn in the flesh" and this "messenger of the Adversary" caused him "weakness". Some Bible translators cause confusion by using the English word "infirmity" rather than "weakness". This makes the impression that Paul is referring to physical sickness. However within the whole context of chapters eleven and twelve in 2 Corinthians we can see that weakness is the proper word choice.

Paul uses the same terminology in 2 Corinthians 11:30 where he speaks about "boasting in his weaknesses (infirmities)" In his listing of these "weaknesses" in verse 24-27 never once does he mention physical sickness. These "weaknesses" are various persecutions and tribulations that came upon Paul throughout his ministry. Going now just a few verses later to our subject passage 12:7-10, we can continue the same line of thought as he speaks about "being content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ." Physical sickness is not implied here.

With this in mind let us look again at this "messenger of Satan" that Paul writes about. In understanding this there are a couple of options. If this is an angelic messenger from Satan then we might understand this as being a spirit of the Adversary that stirred up persecution and opposition to Paul's ministry. It is my opinion though that the context of 2 Corinthians chapter 12 lends this more to being human agents of Satan standing in opposition and slandering Paul. The reason is if we continue on to the very next verse, eleven, we see that Paul is speaking about "super-apostles" who caused severe problems for him and the Good News. If we jump back to Chapter 11 we can get even more clarity on these. Paul writes of such ones saying:

For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Therefore it is not surprising his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will correspond to their actions. - 2 Cor 11:13-15

In these verses Paul likens these "super-apostles" as being servants (or ministers) of Satan. Because in scripture angels are also described as servants (see Hebrews 1:7) I think that this gives much support to Paul's "angel of Satan" being one (or all) of these "servants of Satan". This works in the larger context of Chapter 11 and Chapter 12, which is a direct defense of Paul's ministry against the charges of these false apostles.

This also clears up why God allowed this "thorn in the flesh" to remain and did not remove it at Paul's request. Unlike sickness Christians are not redeemed from persecution. Paul later writes to Timothy saying, "all who want to live godly lives in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." (2 Timothy 3:12) This fulfills Jesus' words when he said, "If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you." (John 15:8)

In looking at this, it is interesting to note that Paul prayed three times that this persecution might be lifted. It struck me that this is the same number of times Jesus in prayer requested that the cup of persecution be removed from him. When it comes to our prayers John writes, "And this is the confidence that we have before him: that whenever we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." (1 John 5:14) It was not God's will to remove the persecution from Jesus and the Lord submitted to that. Likewise, as a follower of Jesus, it was not according to the will of God to remove Paul's persecution. Instead the Lord offered his grace to help Paul endure and overcome these persecutions - not that Paul would be glorified but that the Lord would be.

When we follow after Jesus we can equally expect distressing trials and even human adversaries. We may have to contend with our own "thorn in the flesh" or "messenger of Satan" while we declare the Good News. Almighty God allows such things to happen for a reason. Paul understood that these weaknesses helped to make him "perfect" or "complete". Along these lines James writes, "My brothers and sisters,consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, not deficient in anything. (James 1:2-4)

While these trials serve to refine us they also bring glory to the Lord. Peter writes, "Such trials show the proven character of your faith, which is much more valuable than gold – gold that is tested by fire, even though it is passing away – and will bring praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:7) When it speaks of Jesus Christ being "revealed" the apostle points to the coming day of the Lord. However, even today when Jesus grants us the power to overcome adversaries and obstacles his glory is revealed in us. As Paul writes, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves. ... For we who are alive are constantly being handed over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our mortal body" (2 Corinthians 4:7,11) No wonder James encourages us to consider such "thorns" as "nothing but joy"!

The Lord's Prayer, Answered

The Lord's Prayer (or the Our Father) is a well-known prayer in Christianity. Jesus gave this prayer in response to a request from his disciples that he teach them how to pray. (Matthew 6:9-13) Today many pray this entire prayer either personally or part of liturgical routine. Others may use elements from it as the basis for their own prayers. What may be surprising though is to find that the requests Jesus made in this prayer have already been answered spiritually in the lives of believers. In looking at the individual elements of Jesus' prayer I wish to take nothing from their natural application but hope to just add some appreciation for what has already been accomplished in our lives through Jesus. The fulfillment of this prayer has opened up many wonderful blessings and those that believe can by faith many now enter into them.

Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored

While on earth Jesus came in the name of the Father and thus brought great honor to him through the works he performed in that Name. (John 5:43) Toward the end of Jesus' ministry he requested that the Father "glorify" his name. A voice called down from Heaven saying, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again." (John 12:28) In what way would he "glorify it again"? One way is that even after his death Jesus promised that he would continue to make the Father's Name known. (John 17:26) This was accomplished through the disciples that believed upon him.

When we do works in the name of Jesus and are recipients of his grace, we in turn bring glory and honor to our Father; just as when we honor the name of the Son we also honor the Name of the Father. (John 5:23) Jesus affirms, "I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son." (John 14:13) The apostle Paul thus writes, "And in this regard we pray for you always, that our God will make you worthy of his calling and fulfill by his power your every desire for goodness and every work of faith, that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." (2 Thess 1:11,12)

May your kingdom come,

When John the Baptist began his ministry his message was of the impending coming of the Kingdom of God. In the wilderness he cried out, "Repent! The Kingdom Is Near!" (Matthew 3:2) John heralded the coming of Jesus who was the embodiment of God's Kingdom as its Messianic king. The chief message of Jesus' ministry was the "good news of the Kingdom" and those who heard that gospel message and believed in it received its benefits, including the deliverance from disease, sickness, and demons. (Matthew 9:35; Luke 8:11) Jesus made clear that his powerful works provided a witness that the Kingdom of God had arrived. To unbelievers he said, "If I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has already overtaken you." (Matthew 12:28) Similarly when his disciples healed the sick they were to make clear that, "The Kingdom of God has come upon you!" (Luke 10:11)

In his passing Jesus transferred the "keys of the Kingdom" to his apostles. (Matthew 16:19) He granted to them the same kingdom that his Father had given him. (Luke 22:29) These apostles would bring many into that Kingdom. To such ones Paul wrote affirmatively, "[God] transferred us to the Kingdom of the Son he loves" (Col 1:13)

Just as Jesus represented the Kingdom of Heaven, we today as "ambassadors of Christ" do the same (2 Cor 5:20) Although the Kingdom is yet coming, it is already come in the lives of those who believe in Jesus Christ and enter right now into that Kingdom through faith. Wherever Jesus was on Earth the Kingdom was made manifest in the people's very midst. (Luke 17:21) If we receive Jesus into our hearts the Kingdom comes into our midst. This is particularly when two or three are gathered in his name as a congregation. (Matthew 18:20) When we exercise Jesus' power over the dominion of Satan's world and administer the blessings of the Kingdom, its domain and sphere of influence reaches out to "come upon" those around us.

May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven

As we have already considered, Jesus worked the will of his Father by administering the blessings of the Kingdom to God's covenant people. He said, "I do nothing of myself" (John 8:28) Though from Heaven, Jesus was obedient unto death so that he could fully submit to the will of God on earth. (Matthew 26:39) For it was for this very purpose that Jesus came into the world (John 12:27) And as he died he said, "It is finished" (John 19:30) It is through this that God's will was done on earth.

In his death Jesus brought atonement between man and God and today we have been given the responsibility of declaring this same message of reconciliation. (2 Cor 5:18) We speak not of what will be but what has already come to pass. Paul writes, "So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away – look, what is new has come!" (2 Cor 5:17) When we enter into this relationship as a new creation, a son or daughter of God made in his image, we allow God's will to be worked through us. Paul writes, "More than anything else . . . we want to please him, whether in our home here or there." (2 Corinthians 5:9) We seek to make manifest God’s will on Earth just as it is done in heaven.

The writer of Hebrews says, "For we who have believed enter that rest, as he has said, “As I swore in my anger, ‘they will never enter my rest!’” And yet God’s works were accomplished from the foundation of the world." (Hebrews 4:3,4) Jesus, as the sacrificial Lamb of God, was "slain before the foundation of the world" (Rev 13:8) The Sovereign God exists outside of time and from his perspective all these things have already been accomplished. When we believe in what God has already brought through Jesus we enter into that place of rest where we cease from our own labors and enjoy what God has already brought to pass on Earth for us his covenant people. We become participants in the unfolding purpose of God and in our lives on earth his will is done just as we have been chosen in connection with Jesus even before the "foundation of the world" (Eph 1:4)

Give us today our daily bread,

Taken from a natural point of view it is appropriate to pray that our daily physical needs be met. However, again when we view things spiritually we understand that we have already received our daily bread once and for all. How so? In the gospel of John, Jesus likens himself to living bread. Speaking of himself, Jesus said, "For the bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven to give life to the world." (John 6:33)

This peaked the interest of those that were listening so they made a similar request as is in the Lord's Prayer saying "Sir give us this bread every day of our lives." (John 6:34, NLT)

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. The one who comes to me will never go hungry, and the one who believes in me will never be thirsty" (John 6:35)

If we physically received a piece of bread that filled us up so that we would never be hungry again would be continue to pray for more? No, because our daily physical need for food would have been met and we would be eternally satisfied. When we come to Jesus we are given such bread. We receive him but once and as long as we keep hold on him he cannot be taken away. We receive this bread as children of our Heavenly Father. (Luke 11:11) And as Jesus says, "It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs." (Matthew 15:26) The only way we lose this bread is by rejecting Jesus. Jesus fulfills all of our needs and when we walk in his Kingdom we will not lack. (Matthew 6:32) It is appropriate then to show our appreciation by continuing to give thanks that Jesus has been given to us once and for all time. (Hebrews 9:26)

And forgive us our debts, as we ourselves forgive others

Speaking in the past tense, Paul encourages the Colossians to "Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Col 3:13) This work of redemption has already been accomplished when Jesus' conquered sin at Calvary. Speaking of Jesus, Paul writes, "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace." (Ephesians 1:7)

Jesus has already provided forgiveness; but in order to continue to be recipients of it we need to continue to forgive others. At another time Jesus emphatically states this saying, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:15)

And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one

Again we turn to Paul's letter to the Colossians to find the fulfillment of this request. He writes, "[God] delivered us from the power of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of the Son he loves" (Col 1:13) In his calling Paul was given the commission by the Lord Jesus “to open their eyes so that they turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God," (Acts 26:17,18) When we enter into his Kingdom we enter a realm of unending light and are delivered from the darkness. Paul testifies to this as he writes, “You were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.” He encourages us, “Walk as children of the light.” (Eph 5:8)

That we have been delivered from the "evil one" is shown in that we have authority over all of his power. Jesus gave us this when he says, "Look, I have given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions and on the full force of the enemy, and nothing will hurt you." (Luke 10:19) That authority has never been rescinded and it may be exercised today.

Even the “last enemy” death has no hold over us. To Timothy, Paul writes, “[Jesus] has broken the power of death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel!” (2 Timothy 1:10) He who believes that believes in Jesus, “has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24)

All of what we have discussed is just some of the many ways that the Lord’s Prayer has already been answered in the lives of believers bringing us rich blessings. May our hearts be overjoyed by what has been accomplished on our behalf! May we join in thanksgiving with our brother Paul when he says, “Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ!” (Eph 1:3)

AMEN

Katamari

Mina stayed up last night and constructed this brilliant piece of craft about 95% by herself! It is a "cousin" from the Katamari series of video games. She intended it for Father's day which I typically don't observe but it was a sweet gesture and I accept gratefully. (Besides, even the JW City Overseer of St. Louis said Father's day was a conscience matter last month. :-) )

Anthony vs. The Spider Roll

Have you ever had a meal so good that you felt the need to pray a second time afterward to thank God!? Mina suggested Japanese food tonight so we went to Yoshi's in Chesterfield. We found out about this place through a friend. (She is a missionary girl that grew up in Japan so when she recommends a Japanese restaraunt you tend to listen.) Yoshi's doesn't have great decor or atmosphere. It's just an unassuming spot in a strip mall; but, brother the food is exquisite! Along with my typical sushi staples I decided to try the spider roll which is the house specialty. Here's a pictorial account. Pay close attention to the look of utter contentment in number 3!

Fruitage of the Spirit - Part 4 "Peace"

The next quality in the fruitage of the Spirit that we will consider is peace. When Jesus, as Israel’s Messiah, was born into the world the heavens split open and an angelic chorus declared, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:14)

The idea of a Messianic Age where peace was to prevail was not new to the Jewish nation. Throughout its history the descendents of Israel were routinely engaged in warfare. In the Old Testament “peace” is primarily the absence of war and it this kind of a peace that the Messiah was expected to deliver. After finally subduing the inhabitants of the land of Canaan there was a brief reign of peace under the kingship of Solomon; but shortly after his death civil war split the nation into two. Thereafter Israel and Judah were conquered and controlled by a succession of world governments, Assyria and Babylon, Greece, and finally the Romans. Periods of real peace were short-lived.

The Jews looked forward to a king from the line of David that would throw off the yoke of enemy rule and usher in an everlasting peace. The prophet Isaiah wrote about this coming Messiah and how he would bring peace among the nations saying, “They will beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up the sword against other nations, and they will no longer train for war.” (Isaiah 2:4) The extant of this coming age of peace would even bring peace and harmony to the animal kingdom. (Isaiah 11:7,8) Therefore, one of the titles that the Messiah carries is “Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6)

At the time when Jesus came into this world the Jews were chaffing under the yoke of the Roman occupiers. Years before, in 165 BCE, under the leadership of the Maccabean family, the Jews pushed out the hated Hellenistic-Syrian rulers from the land and brought national liberation. Now the people hoped for a Messiah that would do the same for the Romans and would usher in a time of peace that might be enjoyed forever, thereby fulfilling the word of the prophets. As the Messiah, Jesus did come to bring peace, but it was a different kind of peace then what they had expected. In his first advent, Jesus came first, not to deliver us from enemy beast nations, but the enemy beast nature that had held humanity in bondage since mankind’s fall in Garden of Eden.

Before peace could be brought among the nations it first had to be made between individuals and God. The apostle Paul says quite emphatically regarding Jesus, “He Himself is our Peace.” When humanity fell from grace in the Garden of Eden we became naturally estranged from God; because, our fallen flesh is an enemy of God. (Romans 8:7) Jesus abolishes this enmity by destroying his flesh and putting it to death. (Eph 2:15, 16) As followers of Christ in order to enter fully into his peace we must put to death our own flesh. (Galatians 5:24)

Through his teachings Jesus sought to bring peace between humans. During his sermon on the mount he pronounced, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9) Jesus’ teachings brought freedom from natural animosity and moved toward maintaining peace between enemies. He said, “But I say to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. To the person who strikes you on the check, off the other as well, and from the person who takes away your coat, do not withhold your tunic. Give to everyone who ask you, and do not ask for your possessions back from the person who takes them away. Treat others in the same way that you would want them to treat you.” (Luke 6:27-31) Far from simply teaching passivity, Jesus has us counter those who come against with a positive reaction. In this way not only do we work toward peace; but, also put to death our own flesh that seeks retribution and retaliation.

Jesus lived out his teachings and engaged in positive non-violence. Even when his physical life was threatened he forbid his followers from retaliating. On the night of his arrest when his disciple Peter used a sword against one of the arresting party, Jesus rebuked him saying, “Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back in its place! For all who take hold of the sword will die by the sword.” (Matthew 26:52) Jesus submitted to God’s purpose that he should be crucified and through his flesh restore peace between the Father and his estranged children.

Sadly, the Jews as a whole did not welcome this cherished gift of peace and thus they rejected Jesus as a Messiah. During one of his final trips to Jerusalem he observed this. “Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, "If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.” (Luke 19:41,42) Though Jesus did come to bring peace into the world not everyone would accept that peace – for it would only come upon men upon who God’s favor sat. (Luke 2:14) For their rejection of Jesus, instead of peace they received a sword and had their nation and temple thoroughly conquered and destroyed by the Roman war machine.

In contrast, Jesus’ disciples proved to be such favored individuals. On the night before his arrest Jesus granted his disciples peace saying, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27) Here the Lord gifts peace, or freedom from anxiety and peaceful relations with others to those who would accept him and his cross. Whereas the Jews were continually at odds with their Gentile neighbors, in the Christian congregation both groups found a common bond of peace in Jesus. Paul says that Jesus made “both groups into one” and brought reconciliation “in one body to God” (Ephesians 2:14,15)

The apostle Paul likens our daily walk to a spiritual battle and he admonishes us to take up spiritual armor to protect us. He says that we should "shod [our] feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace” (Ephesians 6:15) In this world it is his peace that would mark our path. As followers of Jesus, we are ambassadors of him and his peace. (2 Cor 5:20) It is true that not everyone will receive our peace, just as the majority of the Jews rejected Jesus’ peace. Yet among those whom God’s favor rests peace will prevail. Even when we face difficulty and trial the spirit of the Lord can grant us the ability not to let evil prevail and seek retaliation but rather that we could put down the thoughts of the flesh. Best of all, today we enjoy the incredible peace that Jesus brought between our Heavenly Father and us. Though we were once far off from the Father we are now brought near by Jesus’ blood and we have become sons and daughters to him. (Ephesians 2:13)

50/50

I accomplished all of two things this weekend. I did my 4-mile run/walk/jog/stagger/crawl on Saturday morning. I'm now running 75% of the time instead of the 50/50 split that I'd been doing. So all and all I'm pretty satisfied with my progress. I doubt I could honestly hope for more.

We also cleaned the house. It's been a degenerative state of clutter for a while now. I'm looking forward to the Spring city cleanup. I've got a lot of stuff in the basement ready for the curb.

Nothing much more going on that I haven't mentioned before. I'm still working more than ever. I'm still fiddling with the new song 4(give/get). I'm still waiting on my new car (the boss decided to wait for an '05). I'm still alive.

Eyes to See - The Risen Lord

The scene of the crucifixion of Jesus stands as the preeminent picture in the Christian landscape. When you think about that event what image does it bring up in your mind? What do you see? Depending on your religious tradition you may see Jesus on a simple stake, a cross, or a tree. His body is wounded and cut. A cruel crown of thorns digs into his scalp. Nails are driven through his hands or wrists. You see a dying man hanging under a sign reading "the King of the Jews".

It is interesting to take notice of what an eyewitness saw, because he observed something radically different. He didn't see a dying man. Who is this eyewitness? It is one of the criminals who were executed alongside Jesus. As he was dying he put faith and Jesus and said to him, “Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom.” (Luke 23:42) Upon cursory glance this statement of faith may not seem all that extraordinary. In order to get the full impact we have to contrast the attitude of the criminal with Jesus' disciples.

Unlike this criminal, Jesus' disciples knew him very well. They had sat and listened to him teach. They had seen him perform many miraculous signs and wonders. Only a short time earlier Jesus had even brought his disciple Lazarus back from dead. The disciples knew Jesus and this was particularly true of the twelve apostles who were selected to fulfill special assignments. These twelve spent the better part of three years in Jesus' intimate company. They traveled with him. They ate with him. They slept alongside him. They got to know Jesus' up close and personal and they were given the ability to really grasp who Jesus' was. This is shown in an account recorded at Matthew 16:13-17

"When Jesus came to the area of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” They answered, “Some say John the Baptist, others Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “You are blessed, Simon son of Jonah, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but my Father in heaven!"

When Peter looked at Jesus what did he see? At that moment, Heaven opened his eyes and he saw that Jesus was the promised messiah, the Christ, the Son of God. However, even though Peter and the other disciples knew Jesus to be the Christ their eyes were still closed in many respects. To the Jewish mindset of the day they expected the messiah to be a king and military leader who would liberate their nation from the Romans. After subduing all enemies, the messiah would usher in a time of worldwide peace and prosperity. Because of these expectations, the furthest thing from an option that they would accept is that the messiah would be handed over to their enemies and be killed. But, just after Peter made that declaration of faith in Jesus as Christ, Jesus began telling them that this very thing was to befall him. The Gospel records, "From that time on Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and experts in the law, and be killed, and on the third day be raised.". But old expectations were so ingrained in these Jewish men that even with Jesus telling them matter-of-factly about his death and subsequent resurrection Peter still had difficulty comprehending such a thing. The scripture continues, "So Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him: “God forbid, Lord! This must not happen to you!” (Matthew 16:21, 22)

With these Messianic expectations in mind we have to put ourselves in the minds of Jesus' followers during his triumphal entry into Jerusalem in his final days. Jesus sits upon donkey colt and rides it from the Mt. of Olives down to Jerusalem in the manner of a Jewish king coming in peace. Matthew tells us this was to fulfill what the prophet Zechariah spoke saying,

Tell the people of Zion,
‘Look, your king is coming to you,
unassuming and seated on a donkey,
and on a colt, the foal of a donkey. - Matthew 21:5

So as Jesus rode into Jerusalem what did the disciples see? It may be that they saw a king, riding to power, on the road to vanquish the Romans from Jerusalem. How then, their hearts must have raced as they saw the crowds welcoming Jesus with palm branches shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the king of Israel!” (John 12:25) Their enthusiasm was fever-pitched and filled with dreams of the coming Kingdom.

We can imagine then how their hopes and dreams ended at Calvary, where Jesus was executed. Though warned repeatedly about it, this seemingly tragic turn of events completely caught the disciples off-guard. When the Jewish authorities arrested Jesus and the Romans his disciples abandoned him and fled. Peter, who had been so perceptive earlier to put faith in Jesus as the Christ, disowned him. Their overall, disheartened attitude is well encapsulated in a conversation that two disciples had just days after Jesus death.

Now that very day two of them were on their way to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. They were talking to each other about all the things that had happened. While they were talking and debating these things, Jesus himself approached and began to accompany them (but their eyes were kept from recognizing him).

Then he said to them, “What are these matters you are discussing so intently as you walk along?” And they stood still, looking sad.

Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who doesn’t know the things that have happened there in these days?”

He said to them, “What things?”

“The things concerning Jesus the Nazarene,” they replied, “a man who, with his powerful deeds and words, proved to be a prophet before God and all the people; and how our chief priests and rulers handed him over to be condemned to death, and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. Not only this, but it is now the third day since these things happened. Furthermore, some women of our group amazed us. They were at the tomb early this morning, and when they did not find his body, they came back and said they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. Then some of those who were with us went to the tomb, and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.”

So he said to them, “You foolish people – how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Wasn’t it necessary for the Christ to suffer these things and enter into his glory?” Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things written about himself in all the scriptures. - Luke 24:13-27

We notice here the utter devastation and confusion that comes through in these disciples of Jesus. When they are asked what they are talking about, they stand still looking sad. They confer that they had hoped that Jesus would have been the one to redeem Israel. And even though some women had reported that Jesus was alive they were not filled with joy but were perplexed. To them Jesus was dead and the hopes for the Kingdom had vanished.

Now we go back to the criminal crucified next to Jesus who asked, "Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom.” When this man looked over at Jesus he didn't see a dying man. When Jesus' disciples hope in his Kingdom was just ending this man's was just beginning. He knew that for Jesus, death was not the end; but that he would come again in his Kingdom. When he looked at Jesus he didn't see a dead man - he saw the King of Israel - the very thing the sign proclaimed! Now when we think of Jesus what do we see? Do we see a dead man or a risen king?

When it comes to seeing Jesus in this way I can think of no better example than that of the apostle Paul. The recorded account doesn't tell us whether Paul had any dealing with Jesus prior to his death. Since Paul was such an important figure in early Christianity we can probably conclude that this omission indicates that he did not. He only knew of Jesus after the fact when the risen Lord revealed himself to him. This glimpse of the resurrected Jesus stirred him so much that it brought an immediate change for this one time persecutor of the Christian congregation. After retiring to Arabia for an undetermined length of time, Paul returned and began boldly preaching the name of Jesus' in the synagogues. That first look of Jesus totally changed Paul's goals in life and he spent the rest of his earthly existence pursuing the risen Lord. As he writes to the Philippians,

My aim is to know him, to experience the power of his resurrection, to share in his sufferings, and to be like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. - Phil 3:10,11

We are blessed to today to have some of Paul's writings in our collection of scriptures. What continues to impress me is how determined Paul is of the present reality of Jesus Christ and how the Lord is found in a central position. Paul paints beautiful pictures of Jesus as he is, enthroned on high, with a name above every name. (Phil 2:9-11) His desire is that the eyes of our heart be opened to know Jesus as he is - in all his fullness, splendor, and glory. (Eph 1:15-23)

As we already considered, Jesus' first-hand followers had difficulty understanding his resurrection. Even when faced with compelling evidence of the empty tomb and testimony from the women they still did not grasp his resurrection. It took a face-to-face appearance with the apostles for them to fully understand. The gospel of John records that one of their number, Thomas, was not present at this time. When the other apostles related to Thomas how they had seen Jesus; their joy was met with his doubt. Thomas skeptically replied, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." - John 20:25

A week later, Thomas got his wish. Jesus appeared before him and he was forced to acknowledge the glorious truth, Jesus was not dead. He was alive! Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." - John 20:29

We are so blessed to have the testimony of those that saw Jesus with their eyes of flesh just as they were blessed to see him. However, we who have not yet seen Jesus physically are particularly blessed. As Jesus said, "blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." This well describes the criminal that hung beside Jesus and put faith in his resurrection. It also describes us who have yet to see Jesus as he is, but have spiritually perceived him. Peter thus writes about us, Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:8,9) Because we have put faith in Jesus and his resurrection we are strengthened in our own hope of one day seeing him. As John writes, "We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." (1 John 3:2)

May our God and Father grant us the spiritual eyes to see Jesus, the risen Lord, and keep us safe in the hope of one day seeing him face to face!

Open Letter to the Wood River Congregation - 2007

April 9, 2007

As I sit down to write this I know it very well could be an exercise in wasted envelopes and stamps; but I’m moved to keep in touch. Without any exaggeration I can say that I dream about the Wood River congregation often, at least once a week, but sometimes as often as every other day. As much as I would like to move on and put the past behind I get the sense that my Heavenly Father doesn’t want me to forget. So if I could trouble you once a year I hope you can tolerate me.

Since I’m physically disconnected from you I don’t have knowledge of all of your current pains and trials. However, I know that a lack of good shepherds continues to wear you down. I was incredibly sad to hear about your loss in the passing of Bob Biggerstaff. He was a fine man and even though his age kept him down in these last few years he continued to be a good, positive influence on the congregation. Even in his old age he was very vibrant. I look forward to seeing him soon in the New Earth. I can just close my eyes and picture his large orchard and perhaps a whole, herd of beautiful, wild horses.

Equally I was very sad to hear that Rich Bailey is no longer an elder at the Wood River congregation. Despite our differences I can say that Rich is above all a man of integrity and I know that he really cares for the afflicted. I remember when Rich was first coming to our Kingdom Hall and certain ones, even among the elder and servant body, were callously bad mouthing him before he ever set foot in the door. Regrettably, I was quite ready to loathe him myself based on what was being said. However, in the end I had to apologize to him for thinking such thoughts. He was an asset to the congregation, truly.

If I could get you to reflect just a moment on those elders that in recent years you have lost – Mark Solle, Jim Donahue, Phil Honnen, Rich Bailey – a sad pattern emerges. I remember the reaction to when Mark Solle left our hall and how sad it made us all feel. I know that some of you were quite ready to quit coming to meetings or perhaps change Kingdom Halls. We encouraged you stay and were happy that you stuck it out; because, you would have been missed. I know it’s hard. I also know that some of you are still suffering under the current elder body. I know your hurt.

To that end I feel that the 23rd chapter of Jeremiah is a source of great comfort because it deals with this very situation you face. I would like to consider it briefly. It begins with these strong words:

“Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasturage!” is the utterance of Jehovah.

If we could stop and reflect very carefully on the message that Jehovah is giving here. I ask, who are Jehovah’s sheep? If you believe that they are Jehovah’s Witnesses then we have to understand when the prophet speaks about the “sheep of [Jehovah’s] pasturage” he is talking about the Christian congregation, the brothers and sisters. If that is true, then who are the shepherds that he is speaking about? Would it not be abusive shepherds within the congregation? The prophet continues:

Therefore this is what Jehovah the God of Israel has said against the shepherds who are shepherding my people: “YOU yourselves have scattered my sheep; and YOU kept dispersing them, and YOU have not turned your attention to them.”
“Here I am turning my attention upon YOU for the badness of YOUR dealings,” is the utterance of Jehovah.

Brothers and Sisters if you have suffered from the hand of those that were put in place to shepherd you take heart. Jehovah has heard your cries and he knows your pain! The neglect and abuse from your shepherds has not gone unnoticed by Heaven. He will deal with them in time but more importantly he will soothe your pain.

“And I myself shall collect together the remnant of my sheep out of all the lands to which I had dispersed them, and I will bring them back to their pasture ground, and they will certainly be fruitful and become many. And I will raise up over them shepherds who will actually shepherd them; and they will be afraid no more, neither will they be struck with any terror, and none will be missing,” is the utterance of Jehovah.

Sadly some today are scattered. Perhaps they have been beaten down to the point where they no longer attend meetings. Some float from congregation to congregation aching to find someone to care for them. Others like myself may have been forcibly removed from the congregation unjustly. If this is true for you, please understand, these shepherds may have given up on you but you are not lost. Jehovah gives his promise that he will collect all his scattered sheep and provide them with new shepherds. These will be different and they will take care of you gently and compassionately. More importantly Jehovah will give you his own son as a shepherd as the prophet continues:

“Look! There are days coming,” is the utterance of Jehovah, “and I will raise up to David a righteous sprout. And a king will certainly reign and act with discretion and execute justice and righteousness in the land. In his days Judah will be saved, and Israel itself will reside in security. And this is his name with which he will be called, Jehovah Is Our Righteousness.”

Jesus is that sprout from David. Jesus said of himself, “I am the fine shepherd, and I know my sheep and my sheep know me, … I surrender my soul in behalf of the sheep.” (John 10:14,15) Just a few days ago you reflected on that great sacrifice that Jesus made on behalf of his sheep. When he was alive on earth Jesus expressed that he was “sent for to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." (Matthew 15:24) His concern was for those little sheep that were kicked around and neglected by the shepherds of his day. When he looked at the people, what did he see? The Bible answers, “On seeing the crowds he felt pity for them, because they were skinned and thrown about like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36) I ask you, now that Jesus is ruling in heaven do you think he cares any less for those that are skinned and thrown about within his modern-day sheep fold? Do you think he cannot see your pain and that he doesn’t care about your plight? Nonsense! He gave his life for you and he loves you and wants to care for you. It was for this purpose he came into this world and it is for this purpose he reigns as king. To you he gives the following invitation:

"Come to me, all YOU who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh YOU. Take my yoke upon YOU and learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and YOU will find refreshment for YOUR souls. For my yoke is kindly and my load is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

I have found that refreshment and it is beautiful! It has been one year since my disfellowshipping and I am happy to report that we are doing very well and continue to offer up prayer on your behalf. I do look forward to the time when we can be together again; in the meantime my Father continues to bless us daily through his Son Jesus. The wilderness is never fun but it is not a bad place to be. It seems to be a popular place for God’s servants to be tested and refined for a period. Out here I have experienced His faithfulness and his love. I have also seen his power, miraculous signs and wonders. I’ve had to leave much behind for the sake of following Jesus; but I’ve received so much more than I could ever dream. I have everything in Him and I want for nothing – only to know him more and more.

I give you his love. I love you very much and so does He. Our love for you is unconditional; you don’t have to love me back. Even if you hate me I still love you. Just as he laid down his life on behalf of us, I gladly do the same. I pray that you would know his love. I pray that you would have his peace. I pray that at his hand you would find satisfaction and joy. I pray that in his arms you would find comfort and security. I pray that you would hear his voice in your life and it will quiet your fear. I pray that you would know him more and more. He is the true shepherd and overseer of our souls. (1 Peter 2:25)