caffeine

Well ... here's to turning over a new leaf in life.
After years upon years of soda drinking with no adverse health effects (that I know of) caffeine now makes me dizzy and sick. So I guess I'm going to have to make some changes and go back to water or something.
No tea.
No coffee.
No soda.
I can barely comprehend that.
(I posted the lyrics to "Caffeine" by Kristin Hersh as they seem fitting. today.)

I'm wearing long sleeves and the air has a chill to it. They are saying it is going to be a bad winter which is pretty convenient if you are an energy executive seeing as how natural gas is 100% up. For the rest of us this bad news. Mina came up with a nice idea - we will just buy some blankets.

Look out for October.

Hug your loved ones.


--

The best of us puking
The rest of us not doing so well
You can tell by the way we look over your shoulder
Watching for the next big thing
Caffeine in the blood, caffeine on the brain, bad well water
Set off a chain reaction, a desparate set of principles
I wish we were lonely
I wish we were boring
It's so much easier
You're driving and I am your backseat shadow
The radio keeps playing
The radio keeps saying Nothing lost and nothing gained
But if you don't like it then leave
What if you won't take it from me?
I can soothe you
I feel your heart beating
I hear your soft breathing

-caffeine Kristin Hersh

Gethsemene

Last night I was reading over the different accounts of the last hours of Jesus' life on Earth. I was particularly moved by the account of what transpired in the garden of Gethsemane. The mental image of Jesus I carried in past is him at his strongest - the power that he displayed while driving the money changers out of the temple - the calm dignity he displayed while suffering abuse in the courts. However this account of Gethsemane is Jesus at his most vunerable. It is not pleasant but at his most human it enables me to relate to him more.

There is one verse in Mark 14 that particularly caught my attention, "...and he started to be stunned and sorely troubled." (v. 33) I started to wonder why suddenly Jesus was "stunned". In the Greek this word, ekthambeo, carries the thought of being startled, thrown in terror, alarmed. What must it have been like? Have you ever gotten so scared that it is like the wind is knocked out of you? Has a thought so dreadful ever come across you that you cannot move because of the sheer horror of it?

Imagine what it was like for Jesus. He evidentally knew hew was to die since he had been preparing the apostles for his death for some time. Maybe there in the garden as the zero hour approached the gravity of the situation suddenly came upon him. Honestly to be killed is one thing - to be reviled, beaten, flogged, and impaled is quite another.

Jesus tells his three companions, "My soul is deeply grieved, even to death. Stay here and keep on the watch with me." (Matthew 26:37) I wonder if apostles understood what he was going through? Have you ever had a friend try to reach out and communicate to you the pain they are experiencing and you don't comprehend it? Here Jesus is telling them quite simply, "Stay with me. Don't leave me. Stay awake."

Jesus then goes ahead of then a little ways, maybe just out of earshot, and then "he fell upon his face". He literally collapses in despair and begins praying to his Father. He said “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me. Yet, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39) Mark's account of this prayer is even more tender for he address his Father as "Abba", daddy or papa.

I think about his prayer and what he was asking and why he was asking it. I don't think it is wrong to at least consider the thought Jesus was greatly troubled by what he was to suffer. Wouldn't you be? And not just troubled by his own personal pain but also in despair over the stakes that were riding on the next day. All of humanity hung in the balance. His Father's righteousness was in question. This was alot to have on your shoulders.

In Luke's account Jehovah sends an angel to comfort Jesus. Even while his closest friends fell asleep nearby his heavenly Father didn't leave him. Yet in the arms of this divine comfort, Luke writes "But getting into an agony he continued praying more earnestly; and his sweat became as drops of blood falling to the ground." (Luke 22:43,44) So severe was his anquish that a medical condition called hemohidrosis or hematidrosis befell him. As a result of hemmoraging in the sweat glands his sweat became mixed with blood. This can cause the body to go into shock. (And I wonder about this. Jesus was a perfect man and yet his body was physically breaking down under the pressure. When he says, "I am troubled even to death" there is an indication that the mental trauma was so great that he felt it would kill him right then and there.)

The hour then came, just as his betrayer approached to lead the arrest Jesus picked himself up and prepared to face his destiny. When the troops asked for Jesus he didn't run, he didn't hide, he boldy said, "I am he." That boldness and composure would be the mark that he carried throughout his numerous trials and tortures.

The Great Sea Monsters

Genesis 1:21 "And God proceeded to create the great sea monsters ... And God got to see that [it was] good."

I have always been fascinated by the so-called great sea monsters. When I was little I used to get these cards that had pictures of animals on one side and a little factoid about them on the reverse. My favorite was the narwhal! At the time it was so elusive that instead of a photograph there was only a painting.

Today I was happy to read the news article Giant Squid Photographed for First Time. A team of Japanese scientists are the first to capture a picture of a live giant squid - a creature so elusive that we only knew of its existence when bodies or pieces of bodies washed up on shore. It is rumoured that once upon a time these animals would attack sailing ships. Presumably today they are scared away by the sounds of motors and we no longer have these threats.

The 41st chapter of Job describes a mighty sea creature called Leviathan which is described by God as "king over all majestic beasts". Some Bible commentators have suggested that Leviathan is a crocodile. To which we can only ask when has a crocodile ever breathed fire? (vs 18-21) I'm still waiting to catch of glimpse of this great sea monster - albeit at a safe distance in a fire proof suit!

blackout

9:30pm Tuesday Night

We are returning home after grocery shopping. I'm hungry and can't wait to get a pizza in the oven. I go to the bedroom to change out of my dress clothes.

The lights go out.

My dad was over monday to fix the my circuit box so I assume there is a problem.
There is a problem but it is not ours alone. The whole street is out.
Correction the whole block is out.
Correction the whole neighbourhood is out.

Interesting how dependent you are on power and when it suddenly vanishes you are left running around and bumping heads like some pitch-black Three Stooges episode.

Two weeks ago, after Katrina, we bought matches, and lighters, and a big flashlight. The flashlight came in handy. (Next on the disaster-prep shopping list will be a crank radio.)

We took a drive around the dark town. It seemed like it was our chunk of neighborhood that was out. (1,500 people or so)

We came back home and there was nothing to do but sleep.

At 11:00 pm the lights flickered to life and my bedroom fan began blowing on me. We breathed a collective sigh of relief and collectively realized how enslaved we are to the power grid.

Further study:

The "Little House" book series.

Items to buy:

Crank shortwave radio.

Broken

Friday morning I got the call:

"Anthony you'd better come in early. The computer systems are down".

Overnight the we had a lightning storm and the system had failed. I spent all-day trying to get it going again and I came up short. So I threw myself out at Saturday and finally got it to go ... barely ... slowly.

The machine's a mess. The tape backup drive is failing.

I hope a new machine is in the budget cause we are going to need one ...

--

Friday night I got in beat down and stressed. Rebekah, bless her heart, went out and got me some taquitos and a six-pack of Negra Modelo. That made things beter. Comfort food.

--

Saturday we took Mina out - lunch, book store, Toys-r-Us, City Museum. The City Museum is fun anytime but at night it gets so much better (and cheaper). We happened to bump into fellow Nucleargopher/Band Kids labelmate Nathan. What a surprise that was! We exchanged numbers. Hopefully we can get together now that he is around here.

There was a fight in the dodge-ball pit.

--

Sunday after the meetings we went to Quizno's and I chomped down on a piece of ice and my molar broke.

Life.

We went to D.Z.'s memorial service. It was really sad.

I was thinking about the resurrection and how wonderful it would be to be able to raise people from the dead. What a joy! There's greater happiness in giving the receiving. How I wish I could bring them back!

. . .

I wish I knew what to do
Where to go
When to move
Can you help me to see?

I'm so unkind
My eyes are blind

I'm so unworthy
I'm so worldly

Father hold me

I hope this isn't blasphemy
Come down and save me

I love you

There is no fear in love

So where does that leave us?

I love you too much

My heart might burst
...but I've had worse.

Glasses

I was drinking out of a measuring glass and it dawned on me that we need to buy some glasses. As it stands we have:

1 shot glass
1 martini glass
1 wine goblet
1 drinking glass

I doubt we will be entertaining anytime soon ...

My Friend

I started to feel better about the disaster now that our Government is getting the situation under control.

But then I got the call that one of my old friends had died. Suicide.
So that is now upsetting to me.
We grew up together as young kids and then we saw each often when we were teenagers.
Eventually he went to Bethel and I lost track of him.

I felt like calling him a month or so ago but never got around to it.
I really wish I had because when terrible things like this happen we always seem to wonder if there was something we could've done.

So my prayers and thoughts today are going to his family.

Come, Lord Jesus. Come!

Keep On The Watch

I've been incredibly sad about the New Orleans situation.
Sad is maybe an understatement.
Crushed.
Distraught.
Weak.
And those words don't seem to describe how I truly feel about the matter.

There is a lot to say about these things ... about what is going on.
But what can you say?

Please realise the value of having some provisions set-aside in your home in view of the times.

FEMA Emergency Preparedness Checklist

Above all else recognize that when the tribulation as spoken of by Jesus (Matthew 24:9,21) hits no amount of disaster preperation will be able to save us. Things will be so bad that the only salvation would be through Jehovah and at the hand of our savior Jesus.

So a key to preparation is reading the Bible, praying, drawing close to Jehovah right now. Examine your life and honestly see if something is standing in the way of your relationship with your heavenly Father. If you find something blocking your path don't hesitate to get rid of it. (Matthew 18:8,9)

I firmly believe that the tribulation is coming quickly. Can you look out and the world and see that is no longer slowly advancing from bad to worse but it is a near free-fall toward collapse and breakdown?

Keep on the watch. Keep your oil supply going strong.

Be ready for anything.

Trust in Jehovah no matter what!

My Money Where My Mouth Is

I could write about my bad day yesterday. I could but anything that I'm going through is extremely petty in light of what is happening just south of me.

To me this is worse than September 11th. September 11th was at least comprehensible on a simplistic level. Warefare between nations is rarely simple but at least we can understand it.

But this ...

Young children are being raped and murdered. Can you comprehend that?

Thousands of dead bodies floating being eaten by birds, fish, and alligators. Can you comprehend that?

People dropping like flies without food and water. Can you comprehend that?

People being rounded up (coralled) and sent to stadiums. Can you comprehend that?

People shooting their military. Can you comprehend that?

The military shooting their people. Can you comprehend that?

I find it very difficult to understand these things ...

People throw out their reason when the get scared. The human tendancy to hang on to life will make rational people act desperate. You can see that in New Orleans. No food. No water. No nothing. They become animal.

I think of Revelation where only those who receive the mark of the beast (align themselves with that last political world rulership) will be able to buy and sell. Think about what that would mean for you. You are starving. Your kids are starving. This world government is dangling food in front of you and saying you can eat if you join us, you can get healthcare if join us, we can protect you if you join us. And yet we have to make a choice to side with God's Kingdom and let the consequences be what the consequences will be.

It calls to mind the three Hebrews who refused to bow down to Nebuchadnezzar's idol. (Is it coincidence that the idol carried the measurements 60 and 6? The name of the Beast is 600 60 6.) They were willing to suffer the consequences - death by fire - for their giving Jehovah their God exclusive devotion. Would Jehovah save them? It didn't matter to them because it wasn't about them. If He would He would if He didn't they would still worship him. Their concern was Jehovah and Jehovah only. And so they were grabbed and hurled into the fire. It appeared that Jehovah wouldn't rescue them. It wasn't until the 0 moment and they hit the flames when Jehovah did save them. At the very point of not turning back He sent an angel to deliver him. This is a lesson for those who will make up the great crowd that survives the Great Tribulation.

For awhile now I have felt in my bones and my heart that we are close. Each new day tells me I'm right.

The terrorist attacks of September 11th happened and we woke up ... and then went back to sleep.

The tsunami hit and we woke up ... and then went back to sleep.

We can't afford to go back to sleep. Not now. Not this time.

Jesus gave us the stuff to look for in Matthew 24 and Luke 21. I know some of us feel that list came true in 1914 or shortly thereafter and we don't have to keep on the watch anymore. But the stuff we are going through and will soon go through will make all those "big events" seemingly insignificant. Really how bad will World War I seem if ever we were involved in a nuclear war? Really how bad with the spanish flu seem if the dreaded avian flu begins spreading to humans? Really how bad will the great depression seem if the american economy collapses and plunges the world into global depression? And if/when the weather finally breaks due to global warming how will anything compare to the natural disasters, disease, and food shortages that such a change will bring about?

I don't know that any of that stuff will happen but as a matter of practicality I think you have to assume and prepare for the worst. Remember "for then there will be great tribulation such as has not occurred since the world’s beginning until now, no, nor will occur again." (Matthew 24:21)

I think we have decided to sell everything non-essential and try to live as simply as possible for the time being. This will probably include stuff we love like record collections and music equipment It's not that the extra money will be any protection but I just don't want to be encumbered by possessions. I don't want to be the guy who is staying behind when the warning is given because he is afraid of losing his stuff. I don't want to be the guy shot and murdered for his material posessions.

Matthew 24:15 “Therefore, when YOU catch sight of the disgusting thing that causes desolation, as spoken of through Daniel the prophet, standing in a holy place, (let the reader use discernment,) 16 then let those in Ju·de´a begin fleeing to the mountains. 17 Let the man on the housetop not come down to take the goods out of his house; 18 and let the man in the field not return to the house to pick up his outer garment."

This is the guy I really want to be ... I want to be the guy that is able to flee unencumbered without looking back. (Remember Lot's wife? These things are a lesson for us to learn from.) When it comes time to move or preach or whatever work there is to do in the final days I want to do it without reservation.