Last night I was reading over the different accounts of the last hours of Jesus' life on Earth. I was particularly moved by the account of what transpired in the garden of Gethsemane. The mental image of Jesus I carried in past is him at his strongest - the power that he displayed while driving the money changers out of the temple - the calm dignity he displayed while suffering abuse in the courts. However this account of Gethsemane is Jesus at his most vunerable. It is not pleasant but at his most human it enables me to relate to him more.
There is one verse in Mark 14 that particularly caught my attention, "...and he started to be stunned and sorely troubled." (v. 33) I started to wonder why suddenly Jesus was "stunned". In the Greek this word, ekthambeo, carries the thought of being startled, thrown in terror, alarmed. What must it have been like? Have you ever gotten so scared that it is like the wind is knocked out of you? Has a thought so dreadful ever come across you that you cannot move because of the sheer horror of it?
Imagine what it was like for Jesus. He evidentally knew hew was to die since he had been preparing the apostles for his death for some time. Maybe there in the garden as the zero hour approached the gravity of the situation suddenly came upon him. Honestly to be killed is one thing - to be reviled, beaten, flogged, and impaled is quite another.
Jesus tells his three companions, "My soul is deeply grieved, even to death. Stay here and keep on the watch with me." (Matthew 26:37) I wonder if apostles understood what he was going through? Have you ever had a friend try to reach out and communicate to you the pain they are experiencing and you don't comprehend it? Here Jesus is telling them quite simply, "Stay with me. Don't leave me. Stay awake."
Jesus then goes ahead of then a little ways, maybe just out of earshot, and then "he fell upon his face". He literally collapses in despair and begins praying to his Father. He said “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me. Yet, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39) Mark's account of this prayer is even more tender for he address his Father as "Abba", daddy or papa.
I think about his prayer and what he was asking and why he was asking it. I don't think it is wrong to at least consider the thought Jesus was greatly troubled by what he was to suffer. Wouldn't you be? And not just troubled by his own personal pain but also in despair over the stakes that were riding on the next day. All of humanity hung in the balance. His Father's righteousness was in question. This was alot to have on your shoulders.
In Luke's account Jehovah sends an angel to comfort Jesus. Even while his closest friends fell asleep nearby his heavenly Father didn't leave him. Yet in the arms of this divine comfort, Luke writes "But getting into an agony he continued praying more earnestly; and his sweat became as drops of blood falling to the ground." (Luke 22:43,44) So severe was his anquish that a medical condition called hemohidrosis or hematidrosis befell him. As a result of hemmoraging in the sweat glands his sweat became mixed with blood. This can cause the body to go into shock. (And I wonder about this. Jesus was a perfect man and yet his body was physically breaking down under the pressure. When he says, "I am troubled even to death" there is an indication that the mental trauma was so great that he felt it would kill him right then and there.)
The hour then came, just as his betrayer approached to lead the arrest Jesus picked himself up and prepared to face his destiny. When the troops asked for Jesus he didn't run, he didn't hide, he boldy said, "I am he." That boldness and composure would be the mark that he carried throughout his numerous trials and tortures.
