You Can Leave Your Past Life Quicker Than It Will Leave You

I awoke this morning and looked at my e-mail. Amazon had sent me a little sales note proclaiming

"Save 34% on "Clerks II (Two-Disc Widescreen Edition)"

Amazon informs me because I purchased the original Clerks on DVD than surely I might like to indulge in the sequel. I guess there's some truth to that. There was a time I would've leapt at their discount offer.

I used to love Kevin Smith movies - but that was the old me. The old me used to revel in vulgarity. The old me used to be quite the sharp wit and when it came to tossing out a well-timed, off-coloured quip I was deadly. But in the beginning of my walk with God I really put forth an effort to leave that behind and so I had say adieu to Mr. Smith and his penchant for blue humour and four letter words.

In truth I still have the tendency toward this - though reduced considerably. Sometimes profane words still come into my mind (but thankfully not as often). Sometimes profane words come out of my mouth (but just when I bash my head into something). Sometimes I think of a really funny joke that I know would just kill but I have to bite my tongue. And sometimes a part of me looks at the advert for Borat and thinks briefly about going to see it. But I'm getting better day by day, year by year with a little help from above.

You can leave your past life quicker than it will leave you.

I look at my Amazon "Clerks II" e-mail and wonder if it is a temptation by the Devil.

You laugh and call my a religious nut-case.

I tell you this story:

I'm not going to go to the sordid details but I used to have a major addiction to pornography. It was a serious addiction that lasted for over ten years and I couldn't stop. But a couple of years back when I started having a relationship with my heavenly Father things changed. One day I just committed myself to leaving it behind and my Father blessed me with his spirit and there was no turning back. The addiction melted away - I mean vanished - overnight. I still had the occasional desire come into my mind but it wasn't overpowering. I just prayed for the holy spirit and I was able to push it way. I've learned many important lessons while growing in the Christ but one of the first was the truth to what is written at Galatians 5:16 -"Keep walking by spirit and you will carry out no fleshly desire at all."

When I was a couple months into my new porn-free, spirit-filled life UPS delivered a big, unmarked box to my front door. Do you know how exciting it is to get a package you didn't order! You think, "Wow! A Present! From who?" I quickly opened to box to find that it was full of pornographic magazines, books, and videos. I checked the address label and it was supposed to have been delivered to the next street over. I turned my head, closed the box and then took it over to the house it was supposed to have gone to.

You think that the Devil does not try to tempt us? I'm sorry but I'm a believer.

Now I'm really wondering why I just shared that little embarrasing story. I guess by being candid and sharing my struggles and victories I might be able to encourage others? Or is it to appease Rebekah who has been lamenting that I don't ever update my blog anymore?

I still do quite a bit of writing for my blog but I seldom publish my entries to the Web. It seems like I can never complete a Blog entry and I have so many entries in draft form that are like five pages long and still not complete. I think I'm unintentionally writing a book or something.

Rebekah asked me what the book was about.

"Sonship ... I think"

"Sun Chips?", she asked.

Sonship - it seems like all these half-written Blog entries are leading toward this idea of what it means to be God's children. This idea about being children of God seems rather ho-hum. Most people just take it as a given that we are all God's children without understanding exactly what this implies. But as I read and research and learn more about it I'm just awestruck. I'm floored by it. So I continue to plug away on the writing - trying to somehow take all these glorious, heavenly concepts it put them in writing. My Father is spoon feeding me though so it is going slow. There are some ideas that I feel he is leading me to but he hasn't quite revealed to me yet. Like I know there is something there that I can't quite get my mind around. I think sometimes he just drips little bits so that our head doesn't explode or something. "I have many things yet to say to you, but you are not able to bear them at present." - John 16:12

I guess I will conclude this with some sad news. It does seem like the elders of my old congregation have turned their attention toward my wife for some reason. They had already abused my family quite a bit when they persecuted and expelled me and now they are attacking Rebekah. Perhaps they feel like their job is unfinished?

You can leave your past life quicker than it will leave you.

I'm sad not so much for my family because I know this persecution is only to fulfill Jesus' words, "A slave is not greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will persecute you also" (John 15:20) Rather, I'm sad for our persecutors because their actions reveal that they do not know or love the Father. "But they will do all these things against you on account of my name, because they do not know him that sent me." (John 15:21) That is a sad thing.

Additionally, after they were done excoummunicating me I kind of wanted to hold onto the hope that perhaps they felt some regret over what they had done and would leave Rebekah alone. I honestly prayed for their forgiveness and will continue to do so but it is difficult when they want to compound their judgment by repeating their sin. I wish they knew just how strongly God feels about what they are doing. Jeremiah speaks God's Word against the shepherds,

“Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasturage!” is the utterance of Jehovah.
Therefore this is what Jehovah the God of Israel has said against the shepherds who are shepherding my people: “You yourselves have scattered my sheep; and you kept dispersing them, and you have not turned your attention to them.”
“Here I am turning my attention upon you for the badness of your dealings,” is the utterance of Jehovah." - Jeremiah 23:1,2

Wood River Body of Elders I'm going to use this opportunity then to speak directly to you since I know you continue to keep tabs on me by reading this blog. I ask you to stop and think about what you did to me and what you are doing now to Rebekah. Do not intesify your error and your guilt. You are being judged by Heaven. My family is not a threat to you or your congregation. We just want to be left alone. You have abused, hurt, betrayed, and lied to us enough. Now let us heal in peace. Nevertheless, I ask in Jesus' name that your sin against us and Heaven not be charged against you.