I woke up in love this morning

We have a jam-packed weekend. One of those where Sunday night you realise that you didn't get a bit of rest. But it was all good.

My guitar pickups finally came in the mail. I wired them up and it didn't work. Shoot! I got sound out of them but the volume knob doesn't work at all and squalls - squalls ridiculous. Awesome for Sonic Youth! Not awesome for Anthony. I'm going to have to take it in and let a pro handle it. I dislike the pros. I'm sure they will question my judgment about putting expensive guitar pickups in a $2.00 epiphone guitar. People who work in music stores are jerks.

Last night we went bowling with the friends. The college bowling alley was closed so we ended up at the smoke saturated, white trash alley. ICK! I think I bowled a 55. This 80-year old man(brother?) was bowling with us and he smoked us all with a 166. He was pretty funny, always quick to offer advice to the young ladies.

Afterward the young brothers invited me to go play extreme tennis. EXTREME TENNIS? I questioned. It involves hitting the ball over a fence instead of the net and using six tennis courts as a single court. Up to 6 players per side. I begged out.

As much as looking around at the middle-aged ones in the hall makes me sad. The young people give me a reason for joy. I think we're on to something.

I know at least Rebekah and I are on to something . . .

Last year the brothers came by for a visit. We started talking about goals and the questioned me what my goal was. I know what they expected. If you've been in the religion a number of years you could give them the stock/pat answer.

"Be regular in the ministry." "Reach out for appointment as a MS." "Comment at the meetings."

Instead I spoke imperfectly from the heart and said that I wanted to learn how to love. I'm pretty sure they either didn't understand or appreciate. In talking it over with one brother they explained that it's hard for the elders to measure love. They want to see outward displays. So they can measure your spirituality. But you can fake it. If I make 10 hours of field service a month, attend and answer at all the meetings but my heart is evil and corrupt, should that be OK?

It's been a rough year containing both the lowest point of my spiritual life and the absolute highest. I committed myself to that goal but it took time for the pieces to fall into place. I appreciate Jehovah's guidance and direction. Obstacles have helped me see things clearly. All things served to bring me to a fuller understanding.

I've been struggling for many years trying to do what is right. All it took was allowing holy spirit into my life and now everything is better. Let me offer you a brief example:

I used to hate field service. This past Saturday and Sunday I went out both days. Freely. Willingly. Not because I felt forced to. It wasn't because I was trying to meet a monthly hour quota. I did it because I wanted to and couldn't even begin to think of a reason not to.

And so it goes.

None of this stuff has to be hard or a burden. It's incredibly easy when coupled with the right attitude. Like Jesus told us, "my yoke is kindly and my load is light." There's a better way than grinding against a laundry lists of do's and do-not's. There's a better way of laboring than to meet quotas. Believe in the holy spirit. Believe in Jehovah and his power.

Look around. "The love of the greater number is cooling off." Can you see it? Don't become discouraged. You can be a source of encouragement. Let's be positive and joyful and hopefully guide our brothers and sisters back to a better appreciation of what it means to be a Christian.