peanuts _ love

My legs are aching and my wrists feel tight and my arms have a feint red blotch snaking up them.

On the way to work I saw two perfect rainbows in the sky framing the petroleum processing plants wheezing smoke. The oxymoronic nature of it was hysterical. The creation's of God vs the creation's of Man. I needn't state who won this little competition. Despite it all it's things like that keep me believing. Yeah, despite it all.

Some bad chinese food landed me in the hospital briefly yesterday ---> peanuts ---> again. I was driving when it hit me so I stopped in a fire house and asked for a lift to the hospital. They called an ambulance and started working me over with underused, atrophying first aid skills. My left arm was doused with blood when they tried to give me a drip line. The ambulance came and loaded me up on a stretcher and I couldn't help but to laugh about it. Well I would've laughed if my throat wasn't collapsing in on itself and my lungs were struggling to draw breath. But I looked at the paramedic and said, "This feels like overkill."

Cheers to men at the fire house though for giving it a good shot. Jeers to the nurse that told my wife, "Your husband shouldn't eat any more peanuts." Really?

I was sleepy because of the benydril so I napped and woke and played video games and then slept then woke with a song in my head. I went down to my now barren studio and hooked up a mic and quietly sung the melody and the words. It was one in the morning. I've written a lot of songs about a lot of girls but this is the first time I wrote a song to my wife. I asked her how she would feel singing a song about herself.

I feel a change coming on with me. My personality is changing so rapidly I don't know who I am anymore. But I feel so much love. Weird. Strange. I don't know when I quit loving. My mom claims it was when I was nine years old. But my (g)od it's been a while. It truely has. I could cry. I just want to curl up in the fetal position and just wallow in the goodness of it all.

Today I'm glad to be alive. Whatever life amounts to I'm glad to be experiencing it.