Hair

It's the hottest week of the year and Murphy's Law has rendered our car A/C down for the count. We've ordered o-rings to fix it but the $20,000 question is will they be delivered in time for the District Convention. I guess not. We will be melting in the sun while we wait the hour to get out of the parking lot at the end of each day. Misery. So if you see me sneaking out during the concluding song and prayer please note that I'm not a bad guy ---> I'm just a poor soul without AC wanting to get a jump on the parking situation.

Work has been dragging to match the rest of my life. The summer is flying by at the same time that my life has got me in a wheel. I'm going through the motions. The good is that I've finally got the backup software and tape drives working. I just have to remember to switch out the tapes every morning. The bad is that I've haven't been able to wake up to run.

I have a hair appointment tonight. It was kind of forced upon by the aforementioned DC. I prewarned the beautician that she had better book some time to work with me. She asked did I have an inch and a half of growth? I said expect the worse. You see, I was trying to be a rock star and the results are disasterous.

The bad thing about where I get my hair cut: It's really, simply just a matter of convienence. It's so easy, just a couple blocks from house but they only know how to give hoosier hair cuts. "Ask about our mullet specials!". It's really that bad. So bad that the gay hair stylist had to leave. But I keep on going there because I'm too lazy to find something out. Forever stuck in a rut.

"That's the story of my life, listen close I'll tell it twice

Dogge

And even now I have mixed feelings for the first ten years of my life. I am naturally sickened that these were spent at the end of menancing chain and I feel a natural revulsion as I remember eating rancid scraps off a dirt floor while being kicked and choked. But I also feel blessed, and I say this with no massochism. Any child born, especially back then, was fortunate to see their first birthday and I saw ten. Ten years. And that is where the mixed feelings come in. Because, as I see it, even life at its most rotten and horrible, is still life. A year spent living as a dogge is still a year spent.

I spent ten years being groomed. No, not brushed and powdered and tied with a bow because I knew of no such kindness or luxory. I spent ten years being trained. I was not taught any tricks or shown how to drag a fox out of hole. I was being shaped and molded because bigger things were to be thrown at me. The random spinnings would propel me toward the real revelation.

Log Rolling

I have a new hero, Darren Hudson from Nova Scotia. I watched him kick, spin, and balance his way to the silver medal in the ESPN Great Outdoor Games log rolling competition this weekend. Darren won me over because he was just so hyped up on log-rolling, "this is the most perfect sport ever" he proclaimed without any hint of irony. He comes from a long line of log rollers and believes that his family "indwells [sic] within him the spirit of the game". When he wasn't rolling or talking he was bouncing around on the platform, somewhere between ADD and strung out on cocaine. If log-rolling ever becomes a huge sport, Darren will be the first to land a Nike contract.

The ESPN GO games was an iteresting Sunday diversion while we were up in Madison, WI. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, and almost as much as my Chipoltle burrito. While I share no dream that I'll ever see lumberjack sports in the St. Louis, I still have my fingers crossed that a Chipoltle francise will move in.

magarita

The paper cut on my pinky is killing me and this week is dragging on. Nothing like a coming off of a three-day weekend and struggling with the shortened work week. But I just ordered a pair of shoes so I'm perfectly positive Rebekah will be kicking my butt when I get I home -- hard. I was just simply inspired by a gift my sister got me (and there is nothing like throwing away money to raise one's spirits for at least an hour or two.) We are going to Madison, WI this weekend to eat cheese curds and watch lumberjacks toss logs and maybe (hopefully) drink some margaritas. My Friday ritual is fajitas and a margarita so big I could drown in it. My new hair got me some pretty cross looks at the Hall last night. It's still at the awkward growing out phase until I can get it cut right and proper. I really don't know what I want to do with up but I'm can say that I'm so unbelievably done with the late 90's "Friends" look but I'm not quite sold on the unkempt indie look. And I've been spending quality time with my daughter. We have this new game called "hooding" where she tries to suffocate me by draping a blanket on my head and sitting it while I try to watch TV. I'm raising a killer.

Wiggle Your Toe

Last night we had some pretty bad storms right at sunset. When it was happening the sky was glowing bright orange and being lit by multiple lightnings. It was cool to say the least.

I'm pretty enamored by Loretta Lynn's album Van Lear Rose. In case you haven't heard about it, it was produced by Jack White from the White Stripes - an interesting selling point. Rebekah dismisses it as too country but I'm really digging it. It seems to me to be punk-country. It has all the elements of good old country but with a dirty DIY, spitting and kicking spirit to it. My favorite song is Portland, Oregon, a duet sung by Loretta and Jack. The first line of the song goes, "Well Portland, Oregon and slow gin fizz, if that ain't love then tell me what is. uh-huh."

I saw Spider-Man 2. It had its entertaining moments, mainly the fight scenes and every scene where Peter Parker was being humiliated and kicked around. The movie suffered from the cheesy comic-book dialog. "Go get 'em Tiger" may be OK on a comic page but on screen it is a real groaner. And the popcorn sucked miserably.

I've actually made a good start on my second novel. I'm making it a point not to get too hung up on details. At the time I'm really just painting in broad strokes until I can flesh it out later. The amount of research needed is staggering. For instance which dog breeds were popular in England in the 1800's? Which were rare? Which were not around? But it's all coming together in my head nicely. It's nothing new. More of a reworking of various sources with my own slant thrown in to make it original or at least different.

And I can't help but to ask myself, "What's next?" After I write this novel, "What's Next?" I'm kicking around the idea of the ante-diluvian sci-fi novel. But that may be treading on too sacred of ground. First things first.

Now wiggle your toe.

Three Day

The past few days I've been dreaming of Stuart from Belle and Sebastian. Last night we exchanged religious literature.

I've decided to take the three day weekend and just stay home. With my increased work hours I need the time to just get caught up around the house and relax. That being said I need to avoid video games like a virus.

I've been having the most wonderful ideas about my next novel. It's all coming together in my head masterfully. I don't think it's at all cocky, but I know it will be so good. And I'm excited. It's a big sweeping historical novel told from an usual perspective. It's Dickens. It's Chaucer. It's Pepys.

arrrrrrg

My hair is unnaturally shaggy as I move from Queer Eye to Indie. I have to keep resisting the urge to get it cut.

I went for a super-long bike ride on Sunday with some of the younger kids from the hall. Edwardsville, IL has bike paths honeycombed all over it, most I had no idea existed. It was a fun cross-train and a break from running while strengthing some extra muscles and such.

I might have an empty 3-day weekend coming up and I'm trying to figure out what we are going to do, Madison, WI or Minneapolis, MN probably. It still has to be determined.

After a long period of time I've decided to seek representation for my novel. I guess I figure I might as well throw it out there and see if someone'll find it a home. I'm staring at an unfinished query letter. These things are ridiculously hard to write. HELP!

I'm leaving work early today. I can't take it any longer. I'll quote Charlie Brown, 'ARRRRRRRRG"

super baby

Most of the time the news just irritates and frustrates me but this week it has been entertaining.

Mary Kate Olsen has an eating disorder. No comment.

The first non-governmental space flight. It's so sci-fi that it is cool.

The german super baby. Did you hear about that one? It's incredibly X-Men. A baby was born with a mutation that has doubled his muscle mass and given him super strength. This had better not be a hoax because it is the coolest thing I've heard about in a long, long time.

It's all fluff news but I'm sick and tired and bored and disgusted with the Iraq thing. I enjoyed hearing about something else for a change.

old friends

We went to Southern Illinois over the weekend to see old friends, Casey and Robyn. They're moving to Florida on Tuesday and they have been trying to get us to visit for a long, long time. This was a last ditch opportunity so we relented and went.
-
So we went to see Casey and Robyn but ended up staying with Bill & Cindy. Presumably because I fell asleep at their place Saturday night. It was all for the better, because Casey and Robyn are good in very small doses. They're one of those couples that are constantly bickering and fighting and making everyone uneasy. And when they're not fighting they're hugging and kissing and making everyone uneasy. That is to say they are really emotional.
-
Going to Bill's is always comfortable because, well, because you basically just sit around drink beer and play video games. The same thing we've been doing for years. Nothing like beer and mario kart for a relaxing evening.

saturated

Well the family is back and I'm trying to spend time doing stuff with Mina. Important bonding activities like sword fighting. I have a fantasy that when she grows up she'll be a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad or something. It's important to have goals, y'know. And speaking of swords, Troy, our demolition manager, was doing work at an old store and found a lightsaber circa 1980, pristine with price tags, that got lost behind a shelf. He's giving it to me ---> geek, yes. ---> sweet, oh yea.
-
I ran today and the world was so saturated it was unreal. It was like the colors had been turned up until they were bleeding into each other.
-
I feel something.

weird, eventful week

The weekend capped off a rather weird, eventful week. I don't want to talk much about it.

I did go bowling Saturday night for the first time in . . . 10 years? Probably not that long. But I went to the college after being invited by some from the congregation. I bowled two poor games and then retreated to Dance, Dance, Revolution. My moves are stiff and unpurposed but I managed to beat the beginner's mode while I sweated off some pounds.

secretly suspect

Can I explain this? I feel dangerous . . .

It's all lucid.

Today was pretty productive.

I feel ambitious.

I feel young. I'm not.

I fed the fish.

I washed the dishes.

I read portions of my novel. (I love it, flaws and all).

I'm eating good. I'm running.

Oh yes, I'm running and I'll steal from myself and say this:

"Am I running towards something, or away from something?"

I'm drinking wheat beer with lemon.

I'm secretly suspect.

I'm dangerous.


Melissa Auf der Maur playing. It wasn't because the music was particularly good but it just seemed like a return to the kind of music I used to enjoy. Do you remember the whole Women in Rock trend? You had the Breeders, Juliana Hatfield, Hole, Veruca Salt, Belly, Throwing Muses etc. Over the last few years radio rock has been pretty male. All agression and jumping around the stage. Just so much overboard theatrics. Auf der Maur was still rock and somewhat spectacle (How can you not be when you look like Melissa.) but at the same time they reminded me of the 90's. I'm so old that I'm looking back at the good ole' days of music. Pathetic.

Rebekah is in Florida right now so my house is empty. But y'know something. I like it. I love it. I'm better off alone. Give me solitary confinement. It's sad.

Memorial Day Weekend pt 2

Total tick count is two - - so far. I went to the country for the weekend and all I have to show for it is a couple of parasites burrowed into my crotch.

I lie. I also have a nice beard. I'm a hairy bugger y'all. And I'm debating keeping the mustache. Yeah, I know, mustaches are really out of vogue (even Tom Selleck finally ditched his). But I ask this in all seriousness, aren't they due for a comeback? The time is probably right for one.

I once knew this guy who continued to wear bell-bottoms well into the eighties when straight legged (or even tapered legs) were the demin kings. He loved his mighty flared pants and hung tenaciously onto them until finally he had to cry uncle and send them to dump. A few months after he bought his first pair of straight legs, bell-bottoms were chic again.

And so you see the hardcore mustache wearers are shaving there's off in droves. Surely a resurgence is in order. So maybe I'll keep mine and play it off as a gag. I won't let anyone know I'm trying to be preliminarily fashionable. I have a mighty mustache and await the coming trend and hope in my heart that hairy chests are not far behind.

I just got back from the country and my unread e-mail count is 400+ messages. Apple's mail has tagged 300 of them as junk so I disregard those and begin reading the rest. As I begin to read the rest it's painfully clear that spam blockers have a long, long way to go. It's all junk-mail, most having to do with viagra. I assume viagra is now America's drug of choice. Sorry oxicotonn you'll have to be content with the silver.

Usually, I can send messages to trash bin after reading there giveaway subject line. But occasionally some miss this test and get read. Case in point: The subject line that read, "regarding your ministry training." I bit the hook and opened the message.

"Become a legally ordained minister within 48 hours

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!

Perform Weddings, Funerals, Perform Baptisms, Forgiveness of Sins
Visit Correctional Facilities

Want to start your own church?"

I thought it was funny. In less than 48 hours you can become a minister? What have I been doing all these years?

In case you haven't heard my apple pie scored third in taste and dead laste in presentation. The pink lady apples make delicious dfilling. It was only my crust that caused it to lose. I lay the blame fully at baking instructions which told me to mix the topping until it resembled "wet sand". Wet sand? I did my best to follow the painfully obscure directions. Truth told, I didn't stand a chance because my aunt was really working over the judges. She took first place because of her secret ingredient, raisons. My secret ingredient, love, was just not good enough.

The talent show went off without a hitch. They went through a dull period but now they are really firing again. It didn't let me down. There was the token man in drag act and even a little black-face thrown in. This of course was my father doing a really bad Oprah impersonation. There was a hog calling contest, a claymation video, a judge-judy skit, and it closed with my uncle playing his sad country songs.

We had the family auction. The proceeds usually go toward maintenance and upkeep at the cabin but this time they were secretly being donated to my Dad to help with his medical bills due to his failing kidney. The "children's" book that I wrote and my sister Amanda illustrated and printed brought in over $300.00. It was embarrassing that it went for that much, as
it was filled with soggy sentiment and painful nostalgia. But in a way I feel good because I'm helping out my father in a small way.

I'm sorry to drone on but I must recount my Saturday morning run. It was going well and I was enjoying the change of scenery. However, I kept scanning the tree-tops waiting for a panther or something to pounce on to me. When I got to the end of the road, right before turning back five dogs came out of the woods. These were not miniature poodles. These were big, bad-a, country mongrels. They barked. I dropped to a walk. They growled. I didn't want to placate there primal urges and run. They would imagine me a gazelle or something and chase after me. I didn't let on that I was scared. I just ignored them and walked for a mile. Eventually they lost interest, thank the Lord, and turned back.

I'm done for now. I'll tell you about scrabble some other time.

Memorial Day Weekend

15 minutes and counting until my three-day weekend begins. We'll be spending it at our annual family reunion in Missouri. It's a redneck-fest if ever there was one complete with square dancing and apple pie contents. Admittedly it's only a pale reflection of what it once was. Which is to say that we no longer roast a hog on a spit.

But I'm prepared. I've got enough booze to kill a frat-house and my guitar.

I just want time off ---> now ---> now ---> right now!

Chinese Food

I ate Chinese yesterday from a trusted, reliable place that has never given me peanuts on the sly. This place, Hing-Wah, is a dive but the food is good. I usually carry-out but yesterday, with time to kill, I stayed in and ate for the first time. Without having anyone to talk to I just spent time looking around. There was the usual assortment of plastic Chinese decorations. A small ceramic Buddha sat on the counter, full of belly. A framed picture of a kitten hung slightly askew on the wall. Chinese decorations, Buddha - - - cat?. I saw these things while biting into a piece of "chicken".

My legs are incredibly fatigued. I had to bail early on my run yesterday morning so no telling how hard Saturday's "long-run" is going to be. Here it is Friday and I still h-u-u-u-r-t. I hope it's all in my mind.

I bought some drum mics in anticipation of the summer's recording season - - - > Rock and roll = happy.

Plasma Balls

It's the simple things that make life that much better . . .

Yesterday I made plasma balls in the microwave. Yeah, I know you'll want to do it to so here is how. You stick a toothpick in a piece of wax. The wax is just used for a base so the toothpick will stand upright. Next take a match and burn the toothpick until it gets charred. (Don't burn it all, just char it). While it's still hot and glowing (but not on fire) stick it in the microwave on high and watch the fun! It'll start humming and then launching plasma balls into the vent fan. The process by which this happens is still unexplained; however some researchers believe that this sometimes happens in nature and may be the explanation of some UFO sightings. It's cool.

. . .

Today Juliana Hatfields new album is released. I can't wait to get mine. Also there is the debut Paco album.

I came close to finishing our new song for(give/get) last night. I just downloaded it and the mix is too bassy so it sounds muddy. Back to the mixing board I go.

dreams

My dreams have become incredibly detailed as of late. They are filled with technical schematics and social policies.

and . . .

Are you ever singing songs at the meetings and realise that unless you are from the 1930's they are near impossible to sing properly. Try it out. Really throw on your best Judie Garland impersonation (early non-coked-out Judie Garland) and belt out the Kingdom songs next time. Warble and you'll nail it.

and . . .

Please help me win a microphone from the band Ivy. All you have to do is click on the following links. That's all. It's easy and for a good cause ---> Me and Rebekah's album. Hooray!

[links deleted]

paper boy

I was out running this morning with the paperboys and I suddenly had a flashback to the video game "paper-boy". It occurred to me if there ever was a lame premise for a game that had to be the best example. No fun in real-life. No fun in game-life. But then I remembered the Atari 2600 game "E.T." and had to retract my disdain.

Weekend Stuff

ow! Blogger has a slick new look. It even uses gradients which used to be a big www.no-no.

I'd like to say that I did something epic this weekend. I didn't. Here's what I did do:

Went on three seperate bike rides with Mina. One took us to the park and past a Chinese family making shish-ka-bobs on the grill. ---->

I made shish-ka-bobs. They were decent, but over cooked. Next time will be better. I got a lot of grill ingridients for the next week. It looks like it'll be all salads and grilled meats.

Rachel Johns had a graduation party in her back yard. It wasn't a lot of fun but it was good to go. She is going to Europe and I am envious.

Went to a book store. Went to a music store and picked up a couple used copies of older Juliana Hatfield albums. Juliana has really grown on me. I'm hopelessly 90's sometimes. I still need the one with "My Sister" on it so if anyone has a copy of it lying around, send it my way.

I played FF XI some, which is way too addictive. WAY TOO ADDICTIVE! Again, way too addictive.

Did my running program. I ran(walked) about 12 miles last week. It was a success in that I kept to my schedule. I haven't noticed any real improvements though but I'm sure they are coming.

Oh and I've been working on a 6a2 song called For(give/get). All that is lacking is a bass line and some backing vocals but the song in unbelievably HOT. It is pure radio Pop and while that in and of itself is nothing major it still feels like an accomplishment.

Race

You say extemporaneous speaking; I say winging it. Yes I was definately, "winging it" during my number 4 talk last night.

The ministry school conductor gave me a loaded gun and then told me not to fire it. More to the point I was given the theme, "Where did the various races come from?" and only a five minute time period to explain it and source material to stick to.

I've researched this subject to death as my personal Bible study begins with Genesis 1 and ends with Genesis 7. It was right up my alley. But I still learned some interesting things.

The idea of "race" is a racist concept if there ever was one and I'll be doing my part to abandon it's use. Science is proving that the idea is meaningless. The genetic difference between you and any other person in the world is around .2%. The difference between two white guys is .2%. The difference between a white guy and a black guy is .2%. Of that difference the part that we consider race, skin-color and eye shape only makes up .012%. For all intents and purposes there is no difference.

Yet we are indoctrinated with the idea that there are different races. It just creates an "us against them" attitude that continues to reer it's ugly head.

So if the Bible says that we just one race descended from Adam and Eve through Noah's sons and science says that we are one race descended from a common ancestor pair, why are we still clinging to the idea of "races"? If the term is meaningless, why continue to use it?

Going up on the stage I had a lot of thoughts, no notes, and a couple of scriptures jotted down. I proceeded to "wing-it" and listened for the sound of the airplane headed for the ground.

Running

blaze. the sun is blazing down. it's sad but we've skipped spring another year.

The ring and the pulse of the indiglo from my new Timex woke me up at 5:15am in the morning. I lay there in bed debating getting up, afterall it was a good hour earlier than my usual wake up call. But I talked myself into getting out, sliding into my trainers, and out the door. I hit the asphalt and did my scheduled 3 mile sleep walk/run which in my out-of-shape-langour took a good 45 minutes.

I'm glad I did because the sun would kill me if I did it now after work.

No pain ---> no gain ---> no game ---> It's my first exercise program.

Jeanette Winterson's published her new book, Lighthousekeeping, in the Uk. I'll be ordering it because I don't think that I can wait for the 2005 US release. I need a good book right now.

I'm tired . . . much too tired.

The best part about running is peeping in windows when I go by them. Maybe I have voyeuristic tendencies but nothing draws my interest like a wide open window and people inside. It's like an aquarium, just with people.

Oliver the Humanzee is just downright creepy.

Torture

When I saw those pictures of Iraq prisoners being tortured by Coalition forces I felt a natural sense of disgust and shame. I wondered how could anyone defend this kind of activity. Well this was the subject of a radio show yesterday and I was mortified as caller after caller called in to support our troops and justify this kind of gross abuse of power. The thoughts were that the military needs to do what it takes to accomplish a mission, to that this what these Iraqi people expect and that's how they should be treated. But looking at the pictures, this was not necessary business, it was fun and games. My new warehouse guy just got back from a tour in Iraq. I told him that envied him for getting to go over there and see those countries we can only read about it. He said yeah it was cool but it wasn't fun walking around fearing for your life and carrying a bullseye on your back.

Brandon came over and we worked a little bit on Mr. Tough Guy, the final song for the 6a2 album. I don't know how many Mondays it'll take to finish and refine all of these, but eventually it'll happen.

You want to know how impulsive I am? Very. I signed up to run a marathon next January. The mid-life crisis (yes, I'm only living to 50) is in full swing.

50 Foot Wave

What a jam-packed Saturday.

Since it was the first Saturday of the month we met at the Kingdom Hall for service arrangements instead of at individual book study groups. This usually provides a good opportunity to skip out and take the day off; but, I had a personal invitation from a guy to work with him so . . . I did ---> afterall it's new and improved Anthony.

After Service I had my running commitment that was totally trying to duck out of. I told the brother, "Isn't it too cold to go running?". He responded, "Oh no, 45 is the perfect running temperature." I looked out the window and asked, "What about the rain?" He smiled, "We'll wear hats." And so . . . I did ---> afterall it's the new improved Anthony

Of course I should enjoy running after I actually got out and did it. When I've ran in the past it has been around a track, alone. Running through the trails around the college and with company added a lot. Jim was cracking me up because he is the kind of guy that throws himself at everything he does, headfirst without regard for damage, be it talks, or running. He kept coaching me and analysing my form and questioning my shoe choice. Speaking of form, I've got to throw this in. He runs like a muppet. Grover, to be exact. "Neeeearrrrr - faaaaar". Yes, I'll do it again.

Afterward we headed out to Champagne, Illinois to catch 50 Foot Wave playing at the High Dive. It was a three-hour drive but probably the shortest distance we've ever driven to see Kristin Hersh play. Well it was supposed to be a three-hour drive but I took a wrong turn and ended up cruisin' toward Chicago or something. Once we figured it out we had to cut across farm-land and stray from the insterstate but we made it. (I think this may have turned out to be shortcut - if you figure in the speeding. I wish I had my rally car.)

First off the Highdive is absolutely incredible. It was a little more hip than the clubs I'm used to. Most of the clubs that I know of are seedy at best. Immediately we met Marie and Amanda from Decatur. Marie was bubbly and Amanda earthy but both were decent people to sit with and wait for a show. Amanda plays the marimba which I found totally fascinating. It was easy to make friends with them, possibably to a fault. Marie kindly asked us whether or not we would be interested in going outside to smoke some pot. Ha. "We're Jehovah's Witnesses we don't do that you know, but thanks." Yes we did get a little informal Witnessing time.

I also saw this guy that bore an uncanny resemblance to Jason Lee. Particularly Banky from Chasing Amy. I had to ask him if he was aware of it and yes he was. He thanked me for noticing. His name was Chris and he was neighbors or something to guy who runs parasol records.

The club was bare ---> pathetically bare when 50 Foot Wave took the stage. It was just me and Jon Lovitz (picture)and Rebekah up front. (You'd be amazed at how my love for people has grown when you see talking with my old archnemesis Jon Lovitz.)

50 Foot Wave was intense and loud. Kristin seems to be funnelling all of her aggression through her guitar instead of her voice, which I feel is dissapointing. In the past how she was singing and what she was singing was more important that what she was playing. Their song "Clara Bow" was the highlight for me, namely because it was the closest to Throwing Muses material.

Marathon Training

ow To Win Friends and Influence People round one.

After a week of reading bits and pieces of this book I went to the meeting ready to spring into action and put my new found skills to work. Would you believe that it actually worked? Incredible.

I approached a brother and said, "You know I hear that you've run marathons. That's really impressive. Someday I hope that I'll be able to do something like that."

Brother, "Wow! Let's start training this Saturday!"

So this Saturday I'm running with him, not that I want to, not that I look forward to it, but I kind of started this whole thing and I have to see it through. I fully understand that it means putting myself out a bit. And I'm prepared for that.

I fully intend to start showing love to people, witnesses and others. I fully intend to start being charitable and kind.

My objective in all this is not to wield influence over people. No, it's to be a Christian. Because I need to me. Because it's the best way of life.

peanuts _ love

My legs are aching and my wrists feel tight and my arms have a feint red blotch snaking up them.

On the way to work I saw two perfect rainbows in the sky framing the petroleum processing plants wheezing smoke. The oxymoronic nature of it was hysterical. The creation's of God vs the creation's of Man. I needn't state who won this little competition. Despite it all it's things like that keep me believing. Yeah, despite it all.

Some bad chinese food landed me in the hospital briefly yesterday ---> peanuts ---> again. I was driving when it hit me so I stopped in a fire house and asked for a lift to the hospital. They called an ambulance and started working me over with underused, atrophying first aid skills. My left arm was doused with blood when they tried to give me a drip line. The ambulance came and loaded me up on a stretcher and I couldn't help but to laugh about it. Well I would've laughed if my throat wasn't collapsing in on itself and my lungs were struggling to draw breath. But I looked at the paramedic and said, "This feels like overkill."

Cheers to men at the fire house though for giving it a good shot. Jeers to the nurse that told my wife, "Your husband shouldn't eat any more peanuts." Really?

I was sleepy because of the benydril so I napped and woke and played video games and then slept then woke with a song in my head. I went down to my now barren studio and hooked up a mic and quietly sung the melody and the words. It was one in the morning. I've written a lot of songs about a lot of girls but this is the first time I wrote a song to my wife. I asked her how she would feel singing a song about herself.

I feel a change coming on with me. My personality is changing so rapidly I don't know who I am anymore. But I feel so much love. Weird. Strange. I don't know when I quit loving. My mom claims it was when I was nine years old. But my (g)od it's been a while. It truely has. I could cry. I just want to curl up in the fetal position and just wallow in the goodness of it all.

Today I'm glad to be alive. Whatever life amounts to I'm glad to be experiencing it.

facelift

Please excuse the mess while I give my web-site a facelift. (I searched long and hard for an animated .gif of a jackhammer but couldn't find a stylish one.)

If you'll look in the corner there is a picture of me with my daughter, "blanket". When we go out in public I make her wear a dinosaur mask to protect her anonymity. It was a placeholder image but it has kind of grown on me.

The background image in the bottom and lower bars is of cherry blossoms. I went through a floral phase and I think I'm back in into it. I'm also back into pink.

I ditched the serifs. I'm really not going for readability so much as style.

I'm fighting against clutter. My life is so messy right now I want my blog to be somewhat pure. Distilled.

And it's true. Sadly, it's true what you've heard about me. As much as I hate to admit it, I am reading a book entitled How To Win Friends & Influence People.

But let me tell you. I value each and everyone of you. You make my life so much better. Even those of you who I just read about and haven't yet met.

Mina - Because her creativity is incredible, her intelligence limitless.
Rebekah - Because she keeps me in line and provides unconditional love and support.
Amanda - For being interesting and really talented, you make we want to get skills.
Tom - Thanks for always saying hello to me everytime.
Ryan - For helping me rediscover making music.
Brandon - For playing music with me. Your songwriting skills are awesome.
Steve - For giving me a good job and keeping me busy with interesting stuff.
Katie - For always having a smile.
Alicia - Her strength of character continues to touch me even after she's gone.
Casey - My cohort for untold projects over the years. Your attention to detail is admirable.
Derek - Your personality is enjoyable and your long, long fuse is amazing.
Hiromi - Your superb painting and web design ability is only matched by your thoughtfulness.
Reed & Janna - Your hospitality and friendliness still makes me smile.
Jason - For being an object lesson in how to be personable.
Carol - You went beyond doing your job and planted a seed that continues to grow.
Kim - Thanks for attempting to lift me out of a hole at the expense of your own wellbeing.

I'm gonna truncate this because I need to go back to work so if you didn't get mentioned don't feel bad. I'll get to you eventually.

rubbed raw

Yesterday I got the bright idea that I would try to clean my face. I mean CLEAN my face - - not just splash water on it and call it a day as per my normal morning ritual. I grabbed something that said Neutrogena Scrub out of the bathroom and set to work. However, the product in question was a body wash not a face cleanser and it although it said "scrub" it did not mean "scrub." But I didn't read it closely. No I charged head first into the wash basin and begin giving my face a real work out. The after effect was a kin to sandpaper on my nose. I'm sporting a mighty scab on it this morning. Just call me Lady Elaine Fairchild.

So I've been down ---> Y'know, life is constant peaks and valleys. Used to be the valleys were more numerous than the peaks but my situation improved and it was all up and up and up and up and skyward bound. But now I bottomed out. I know I have. I'm sad for no reason. No reason at all. Or am I?

Truth be told the band was the only thing keeping me moving. It gave me something to shoot for, look forward to, feel proud of. It was inevitable, Brandon's sister moved back into town and they are going to be doing their own thing again. I really can't fault him. If my sister moved back I would drop 6a2 in a heart-beat. But he dumped me. We're still going to finish the album, but he's coming over to load up his half of the equipment and that's, well, that's that. So if you missed our show. You missed out. Ha. I'll be like the divorcee looking around at my half-empty studio and wondering what went wrong. Yes, half-empty, not half-full.

But the truth is -- well the simple truth is -- well the fact of the matter is, I can't exist unless I'm creating. My happiness is linked with my creativity and unless I 'm moving on with something than I'm down and out and down for the count. Maybe that is why my Dial years were so bad. I wasn't doing anything but playing robot in a warehouse. I wasn't making anything but money and money can't buy happiness.


Anthony

abcde_ghijklmnopqrstuvwxy

My So-Called Life

My life. Lately I've been spending a goodly portion of it lamenting about my age. I need to try not to think about it.

The band is on a two week hiatus or something.

My novel draft is back in my hands after my sister had it for a while. I'm removed from it far enough that I can begin to edit it with a fresh mind. But before I do I need to read some history books dealing with similar themes. I will say this. The book needs to be streamlined so that everything is firing at once and moving along. It needs to move at the beginning and slow down at the end. It's too leisurely at the beginning and the end rushes. I need to make the themes pop out. This is not a story. It's an essay. An essay on addiction and faith (or the lack thereof) and life and endings (or the lack thereof).

game-day

Just mowed my grass - a hassle of homeownership to be sure. I can no longer ignore the brown grass in my yard. I'm gonna have to go old-man on it and seed and weed and thatch and edge. No fun but at least my yard'll have a Christian appearance.

Last night I really wanted a martini. Problem no gin, no vermouth, no money to buy either - - I settled for a 24oz can of Bud from the corner gas station. It even came with a hobo bag to carry it in. Well the beer led to another craving so I ordered a pizza. satisfied I went to bed around Midnight.

This Iraq situation is growing worse by the minute. Are we far off from a draft? It's times like this were I'm thankful for my asthmatic old body racked with scoliosis.

We practised our set three times through. It's clocking in a 3-minutes without witty in-between song banter and extended tunings. We've never played through perfectly so at this point I'm just gonna settle for no major mess-ups.

*** Spoilers ***


ATMOS - A good opener because I can use the "train" intro from the CD. Not really a 6a2 song. It was a song that Rebekah and I had for another endeavor that just sort turned into a 6a2 song. After this show I'm taking it back.

Conclusion - Good on the CD because of the chorus harmony. Live it's kind of sloppy. I have a hard time with the rythym. I don't like Brandons vox.

Dial Tone - Nice. When we hit this one it works. When we are off it's still decent.

Athens - Better than the recorded version. The guitar is so big. The bass grooves. The drums kick. And the synth is a massive dance anthem generator. Brandon's got vocal duties on this one. I wish I could've done it, but I'm doing good to play that loopy riff without screw up.

Dividing Sight - A simple little song that takes it down a notch. A nice change of pace. The whole song hinges on my last guitar lead. So when I do it right (40% of the time) it works.

Mr. Tough Guy - A new song that we haven't recorded yet. I talked Brandon into us playing it and I'm glad. It's a frenzy of rawk. Erin and Rebekah trade on the vocals. It's wild. The only fault is that sometimes we play so loud that it becomes hard to hear the beat and we lose our place. - ouch.

Forgive Forget - This song has improved considerably. It's 80's synth-pop blended with Avril Lavigne. Our most poppy - it soars! Brandon and Erin has this ridiculous dance during it. I've never seen it because I'll start laughing and lose my place.

[Cover Song] - Still keeping it a secret because I want my sister to be surprised when she hears it. I think we may have tried to play it over the years but never pulled it off. It's turning out. We haven't practised it as much. But it is the cover and cover usually sound sloppy and half-arsed. We're better than that. It's a huge closer.

House of Thai

I'm sitting in my house smelling ginger and curry, the remains of an earlier cooking disaster. For every four recipes I attempt, one is doomed to failure. Tonight a Thai inspired noodle dish fell short of looking like the picture - it had such promise. Really with ingredients like canned coconut milk how could I have possibly gone wrong.

Nirvana's been on quite a bit of programming this week. It's pretty wild that I know the lyrics to all the songs despite not being a Nirvana fan, or even owning a Nirvana CD. I think it was because of my friend's taste in music. When we were teens, Lee Michael played Nirvana - constantly. He had ten cassettes of Nirvana songs sequenced alphabetically. He used to play the drums on his dash and steering wheel while driving around listening to Smells Like Teen Spirit. Mike really loved Nirvana. In fact he once ran away and began camping out under a bridge because he had read that Kurt Cobain did that at some point in his life. Maybe that's why he started doing drugs as well.

I really wish Kurt hadn't killed himself. I know he would have totally sold out by now and it would've been so much fun to watch the people who worshipped him have their faith crushed.

I thought of a great super-minimalist redesign for the 6a2 sight in proper. Perhaps I'll throw it up after the show. Speaking of throwing up . . .

spring forward

It's 10:30 pm and I should be asleep but I'm still in fall back mode.

Saturday was interesting. We ended up dropping Mina off at Leah's and went to go see Bi-Level at The Pageant. We got in free because Brandon had been given something like 100 tickets to give away.

Bi-Level did their thing which is listenable but not my style. They are pretty talented. I'm so envious of people that can dance around the stage with their guitars without messing up. Bi-Level finished up and the second band came on with some fossilized bass player and a lead singer who dropped an f-bomb every other word in an attempt to be hard. The pit vacated quickly save for the bandmember's wives who started doing some boot-scootin' redneck bar dancing. That was our signal to leave. So we walked down the street for drinks and late night snacks at Blueberry Hill.

Afterward we bid the group farewell and went record shopping. Rebekah got a couple of pieces of new vinyl in anticipation of the record player Nathan is giving her. I found a couple of reasonably priced CD's: Mary Lou Lord and Blonde Redhead's new ones. Blonde Redhead is really listenable to me right now.

On the way back to our car we ducked back into the Pageant to catch the last group, Fourty 'Til Five. They were a hip-hop Eminem cover band that had their own material. By that I mean you could close your eyes and swear you were listening unreleased Marshall Mathers. They had the crowd bumping and grinding which at that time of the night the punk rockers had left and the joint was filled with Frat Boys and faux-hipsters. We hung out, sobered up a bit, and then drove home.

It was so late . . . When did we sleep 2:00 am ? 3:00 am? Time changes are throwing me off.

I woke up Sunday and we made breakfast. It's some Jaime Oliver recipe where you basically toss a bunch of items (sausage, tomatoes, eggs, mushrooms) into a pan and fry them all together. Good stuff.

Spent part of the day (a really, really large part) programming the drums for the secret cover song. It's incredibably difficult trying to duplicate a real drummer. I know I've got some mess-up's but it's pretty close. I'll mask my errors under a 808 kit or something. But it's ready. Two more practices before the show - - help!

We went to the memorial. We didn't get invited out to eat - again. I know it's not supposed to be a social event but it is and so getting left out of the festivities is not fun - not fun at all. It was all Taco Bell for us . . . Taco Bell and the sad life of a B-List Witness.

tired

I came into work late today - real late. Rebekah and I did the radio show last night which was a weird, awkward experience. I hope no one taped it for posterity - because - because I'm not good at talking and I'm sure I came across like a fool - or worse. But I'm pretty tired.

I bought a new toy, an electro-harmonix Double Muff guitar pedal. I've been looking for a distortion/overdrive pedal for a little while. I couldn't decide between a Big Muff or a Proco Rat. This unit falls somewhere in between. I'm really enjoying it.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I think we decided on a cover song . . . I'll leave it as surprise for the April 10th show.

I fought in a war

Friday band practise was incredible. We ran through the set and then dove into building Brandon's new one Tough Guy. This was made to do live. Brandon wrote the guitar part so it has a punk rock edge to it - but it gets tempered by the synth. We all added something to it. Rebekah does these nice harmonies to Brandon's vocals. Erin (our utility player) is absolutely, vicious for the chorus. I requested a cheerleader-esque clap, chant breakdown (shades of Toni Basil). The whole package is pretty much overwhelming. So even if people want to carrying on during the rest of the set they will not be able to ignore this one.

This week on the band front we have more practise and Wednesday night (actually Thursday morning) we're going to be making an appearance on KDHX's Deep Trance show. Shhhh. Don't tell them that we aren't trance.

Saturday - Anthony vs. the toilet round 3 (?) . . . 4 (?).

I'm starting to lose count. If you'll recall I fixed the leak in my toilet and considered it case closed until three days later is started to overflow. I went to tighten the toilet bolts and screwed it up again. The problem is that my soil pipe is lower than the floor so I had to rig it with more extensions than a ghetto salon That turned out to be a bad move. So anyway, I lost my patience and my mind and came within inches of calling out a plumber. Keeping in my that it was a Saturday night I was ready to blow my tax refund on an emergency weekend call out. But then I figured out a better way to rig it and so now it works again. I'm optimistic that this'll be the last time but who am I?

Casey and Robyn were supposed to come over but I cancelled because of the toilet. It's hard to entertain people when they have to drive down the road to use the facilities at McDonald's. After I got the toilet fixed, Rebekah and I went out to eat and then took in a movie - Jersey Girl. The ending was one cliche after another but it was more or less enjoyable.

Sunday - Went to the meeting. The brother was giving the, "God's View of Sex in Marraige" talk. He was pretty balanced and it was much better than I've heard in the past. We went to Home Depot to price cabinets to see if we couldn't come closer to finishing the kitchen. Casey and Robyn came by after their assembly. We took them out to eat Messican. It was good, clean, fun.

just some stuff that happened

We had band practise last night - Everything is sounding so full and loud and wonderful. We are tightening up and projecting a great big wall of pop. To quote Pizzicato Five, "Catchy, catchy, catchy, catchy."

We tried to learn two new songs:

a.) "Forgive/Forget" - This song is pure, unadulterated pop rock. A sweet garage version of Avril or Mandy. A great big piece of candy (or crack). We will end on this one and leave them wanting more.

b.) "Nuclear Winter" - On tape this is our most involved synth piece. I really like it and had hoped that we could work in into the set but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. It is just too complicated to pull off without resorting to prerecorded DAT pieces or bringing the laptop on stage - and that aint gonna happen. So this song was ex'd.

--

I also had one of those life altering revelations. Y'know where you are forced to chuck out the whole paradigm that defined you up to that point. It's kind of scary. For years you have this comfortable nest of your own ideology. This is who I am. This is what I believe. The nest is occasionally shaped and it grows and it changes as you get older. But sometimes the winds come and your nest is destroyed and you are left looking at the pieces and trying to figure out how, or if, it can go back together.

I'm reminded of the Japanese after they had lost World War II. It was an unthinkable thing that their divine emporer could fail them. Their sense of identity was crushed.

At first I felt kind of bothered but now I actually feel empowered. What do you do with the knowledge? Do you use it as an excuse or a stepping stone? I'm using it as an excuse to build a better nest.

Mr. Toughguy

Spinning . . . This weekend was a waste . . . a wash . . . My "blah" attitude from the previous week carried over into the weekend. Bummer.

Saturday I fought to redo the toilet in our house. It started leaking again. I cursed and I kicked and I bought wax rings and then tried some fancy gadget until eventually it dindn't leak. So the bathroom is safe. But for how long?

I did have enough time to go over to The Red Spoon coffee house in Alton, IL to see my cousin's band, Yorktown Heroes play a set. I've been meaning to get over and see them for a while. The music wasn't might cup of tea but they were spirited and listenable. The highlight of the night was a girl in an 80's prom-dress that was bore an uncanny resemblance to Molly Ringwald.

Sunday Brandon came over after the meeting. He's been sitting on what he feels is a hit song. I finally told him to come over so that we could figure it out because we need all the good songs we can get for the live show. It's call Mr. Toughguy and the chorus is, "Go . . . Mr. . . . Tough . . . Guy!". It looks ridiculous on paper but on tape it's pretty good.

We're scheduled for a radio show this Wednesday from 12:00am to 2:00am. I really want to do it because I know it'll help get people to come to the show but there is a huge sleep issue.

. . .

ignorance is bliss

i'm a victim of the information age

where I live

I did my taxes last night. What a mess! The US should just levy a set percentage on your income and ditch the maze of deductions and credits.

I just read this comforting thought about asthma and metropoliton areas. It's nice to know that I'm living in one of the worst areas for my condition. I really would like to move but I can't quit this job so more and more I live for the day I'll get fired.

This 19-year old male intern just pitched me because I wasn't wearing green. What is this? Grade school?

I impulse bought a new toothbrush. I'm giving it huge thumbs up. I've reduced the effort it takes to brush my teeth in the morning by half - - and my teeth have never looked better. Score.

Prejiduce

I really want to have acupuncture done on me. Not for any particular reason - just to try new things. Well there are dozens of people doing it in the area; but I want it done proper. I don't want some ex-hippy jabbing me with needles because he's into alterna-health. I don't want some balding chiropractor sticking me because it's the trendy thing to do.

Give it to me hardcore.

I want some old oriental man to stick me with needles. He should have a milky eye and give me a complimentary mogwai with each visit. He should liberally use words like chi while expounding the aphrodisiac qualities of ground rhino horn. After he turns me into a pin cushion he should yank some chicken guts out of me and call it diseased tissue.

Give it to me hardcore.

- -

We had practise last night. We developed Athens Circa '99 for our live show. It has taken on a groovy new life - dance floor anthem.

Electric Connection

It's time for more my long-winded weekend recap. We'll start up with Friday evening--

Mina is closing in on the conclusion of My Side of the Mountain so we planned to go to Borders and pick up her next bedtime chapter book. Each time we finish a book it becomes more and more difficult to find something suitable to read to her. We have already exhausted the Little House, Ramona Quimby, and Judy Moody series. So it's a lot of leafing through the bookshelfs and pulling out books based on the cover. But then you flip them over and they are summarised as:

"Janette is a thirteen year old going through a rough time. Her mother has just died of AIDS leaving her with her alcoholic, verbally abusive father. But one day she meets a homeless, heroine addict searching for his lost kitten. Janette knows her life is about the change . . . but for the better?"


or

"Paul and Lydia wake up one day and they are magically transported to the lost Kingdom of Baal ruled by the evil Sorcerer Lucifer. Together with their new friends an egnimatic troll named Beezlebub and faerie Ashtoreth they set out to free the kingdom from the evil spell put upon it."


Saturday my father came over and was helping me install a new electrical service in my house. Working with electricity scares me. My dad doesn't instill me with a lot of confidence. As he's hooking it up some high-voltage wire he says, "Now if I get caught up in this don't touch me. Get a pole and knock me loose." We got the new service up but our basement is a mess of hanging wires. Room by room I'm going to go through and sort it out and rewire as neccesary. The spring home improvement season has started in earnest.

Saturday night was Ben and Nicki's wedding. They had a pretty nice reception. The decorations were pretty sharp. Each table sported a glass bowl and a blood-red beta fish. Inevitably as the night progressed and the kegs were drained we would pair up the fish for fights. The highlight of the night was seeing some of the older ones in the congregation dancing to Ice Ice Baby - - classic. I'll dance without drinking. When I drink I get sociable. So I relish these occasions. I washed down two paxils with some dodgy macrobrewed beer and worked the room.

I talked to this kid who is working on starting Spanish congregations in the area. He was telling me there was a real need for brothers in the groups and congregations. Since the Mexicans are illegal immigrants they can't get privaleges in the congregation. So I briefly considered what he had to say. It may be my only shot at getting appointed.

I talked to Sam Grey who looks and talks just like Quintan Tarantino. He is basically the only one from St. Louis who missed getting disfellowshipped. He is a pretty cool guy.

During the night we (Rebekah and I) had noticed this girl's hair. It had some nice streaks and was styled nicely. So later on I thought it might be a nice idea to compliment her.

"Nice hair."

"Is that sarcasm?" She snaps back.

And then I went back into my shell - Recoil.

Sunday we went to the meeting. Went to Quizno's - They've got a pepper bar. Went home and watched School of Rock. I'm not a Jack Black fan but the movie was fun.

. . .

Early Morning Madness

I've got my morning routine pretty much down these days. Wake up (the obvious step 1) and role out of bed before jumping in the shower. I will shower for however long it takes to wake up. Sometimes I find that I'm dazing in and out of sleep while standing in the shower. Sometimes I'll talk to myself. Awakened, I get out and fix (for lack of better term) my hair, shave, and then dash off to work usually forgetting something -- money, my wallet, my phone. At work I make coffee and check my e-mail. I'll delete approximately three e-mails offering penis or breast enlargement, five e-mails from my virus software saying they've blocked the Sven virus, and a couple e-mails so garbled in an effort to avoid the wrath of spam blocker that they can't be read. And then I drink my coffee. The first time each morning when I bring the cup up to my mouth and I inhale the aroma I'm reminded of Super Sugar Crisp cereal.

And sometimes in and around this early morning routine I'll have leaps of creativity which border on insanity. This morning in the shower I was considering the angels and what form they must take in their natural abode. I thought on it and then surmized that they should look like single-cell organisms. The single-cell angels would lack mitochondria and couldn't exist independent from a power source for long. This would create a clear succession of life from the beginning (angels) to the end (man). Each creation being a prototype for the next. It sounds like evolution but at each end of the chain you have very complex beings. - - So I'm not saying that this is true. I'm simply saying that sometimes in the morning I have some pretty crazy thoughts. How fitting that I should talk to myself!

--

Snack night was pretty good if a little too heavy on the desserts. That Indian-spiced chicken I brought was insanely hot; but the yogurt based dip cooled it enough to make it palatable. I was happy with it but it was exhaustive to make. Sometimes I think that Bon Apetit adds unnecessary steps to their recipes to make them seem more impressive.

I'm a Chick Magnet

Last night we had a productive practise. We learned two songs and practised the two that we learned last week bringing the total up to four. I'm pleased with the progress considering the coordination involved with all the instruments.

Tonight we are having "snack-night" at the Book Study as a send-off to the book we are finishing. (As a side note: Perhaps there would be better attendance if we renamed them "book club".) Of course I have to go overboard with snack night. I think because Rebekah and I don't entertain I don't have the opportunity to cook for anyone I seize these opportunities. So tonight I'm doing Indian-spiced chicken kebobs with cilantro chutney garnished with english cucumber, lime, and Boston bibb lettuce. If the food sucks at least the name is impressive. (Mental Note: Make name card to decorate dish.)

So I went shopping late last night for the ingredients to make the aforementioned dish. While in the produce section I was approached yet again by a *middle-aged foreign woman. She comes walking up to me with some sort of a weird squash and asking me what it was. To which I could only shrug and say, "I'm sorry." (Note to Single People: Hang out in a supermarket produce section.)

Seeing Bands

I go through phases. Sometimes I'm in an indie cinema phase and every weekend I'm driving to the Tivoli to check out the latest. I guess now I'm in a band phase and going out to see shows. And not because all my favorites happen to be touring or something. I find myself just going - to go - or something. This weekend I made two attempts to see Polarized Mind play. I had asked them to play with us on 4-10 and I was curious about their live show.

Attempt 1: Brandon and I drove all the way out to Festus, MO to a joint called the Local Scene. We got there and found that the show was cancelled as the club had been closed by the police earlier that evening. So I guess it wasn't a place we would want to be at anyway so perhaps it was good thing that it was shuttered. On the way back home we stopped by The Ground Floor to see if anything was going on.

We walked in and this band was just setting up. They looked really cool. They had all this vintage equipment and a tone of synthesizers on the stage. However, from the first notes of the first song Brandon and I had one thought, "Radiohead". This band didn't so much play the synthesizers as they used them to make noise while the lead singer crooned over a fractured guitar. It was like a bad radiohead cover band that played their own material.

Attempt 2: Mina was at the Grandparents so Rebekah and I drove out to Wentzville to try to see Polarized Mind at a venue called the "Midwest Music Pit". Before hand we stopped off at Seki to get dinner. While we were sitting there eating a couple walks in, the lady looks something like Nelle Carter says, "What is this? Chineese?" The little Japanese server says, "No, japanese". The lady huffs, "Ah na. I can't do that sh - -." and turns around and walks out.

So we got to the Midwest Music Pit which is so bleedingly hoosier that it was unbearable. I'm talking twelve year olds in tube tops smoking cigarettes, trashy. Band member's mothers flashing devil signs and moshing, trashy. The first two bands were very metal. All their songs went something like, "RAR, roar, rar, rar, roar, $#%#! You!"

Finally Polarized Mind came on and the place cleared out leaving ten or so people left. I enjoyed their show

Food Addiction

I've been thinking about addiction again. Specifically food addiction. I think it is most common addiction and plagues most people. However, it is rarely seen as addiction - "You have to eat right?"

A person in good health can go from 30 to 40 days before they begin to starve. However, let's not talk about the limits. Let's reduce it to 1 week. A reasonably healthy person can go one week without eating. The question is, "Can you?"

Most people I know can't go a few hours without eating something. I'm reminded of cigarette smokers who count down the seconds until they can light up again. Junkies waiting for a score.

But are you addicted?

If you do go a few days without eating you'll have withdrawal and feel the need to eat. This will become very strong. But here is the odd thing. A person will feel as if they are starving but in their minds they will turn up their nose as the thought of eating broccoli or cauliflower. No you want to eat cookies, a burger and fries, pizza - comfort foods.

But I'm so "hungry", I'm "starving"!

I think about those old cartoons where a person gets so hungry they eat a shoe. It's played for comedy but it contains a kernel of truth. If you are literally starving you'll eat anything. If it gets bad enough you might eat leather.

What most people associate as hunger is actually withdrawal cravings. True hunger feels similar to thirst. You feel it in the throat not the stomach. Very few of us have actually felt that.

I ask, "are you hungry or addicted?" Am I?

Productivity

And somewhere in between I managed to write a new 6a2 song.

And somewhere in between I took a lunch. McDonald's is phasing out the "super-size" so I got one for one last time. I usually don't even "go large" but I just had to get a big huge killer (literally) order of fries while I still could.

And then I went to the meeting. It's funny how our book is already outdated. It talks about the cry of "peace and security" as a definite future event while a newer magazine (February? March?) says that it could've already happened. Also they had that question about how you knew the prophecy recorded in Timothy regarding the "time of the end" applies to our day. Well I went off on it. I must of answered it three times and basically ranted about road rage, school shootings, corporate criminals, and arrogant, opinionated people on radio talk shows.

P.S. I just found out Rebekah's brother is getting to tour Japan in late March. First Christina Aguilera and now this! I'm officially jealous of somebody I never in my life thought I'd be envious of.

Cramped, but not in my own tender affection

Last night was 6a2's first big practise and it went well enough. The first portion of the night was spent trying to arrange equipment and get everything hooked up. It's a complicated setup: Two guitars, bass, drum machine, organ, two keyboards, and four vocal mics.

Brandon's sister, Erin came by to help out. She'll be playing with us and filling in the gaps with guitar, keys, and vocals. She worked out quite well. Her and Brandon have the real challenge. Whereas, Rebekah and I stay on bass and guitar, respectively, they bounce around from guitar to organ to synth.

By the time we got everything arranged we ended up only practising two songs (over and over again) - but by the end of the night we had them down. I hope the next few weeks of practise go as smoothly. Past experience tells me that we should get better and tighter.

Leap-Year

I had a pretty full weekend. Saturday we went out in field service in the morning. Then after that we went over to the U-City Loop to go thrift store shopping. We didn't find anything suitable so we walked down to Vintage Vinyl. Apartment 26 was giving a spirited in-store performance. Afterward we did some more shopping.

Sunday our meeting was packed. There is nothing like warm weather to bring in the masses. Alicia happened to come to the meeting with her new baby.

As is my yearly custom I watched the Oscars without as much enthusiasm as in years past. In fact I wasn't really familiar with the nominees. I was delightfully surprised when Mitch and Mickey from Mighty Wind came out and performed, "A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow" which was nominated for Best Song. I love it!

Lord of the Rings swept it all which will mean that in the coming years there will be no shortage of feeble Conan-esque fantasy flicks in the theatres.

Oh yeah, one more thing, Scarlett Johannson is really beautiful.

Di Limon

We got it and I'm pretty pleased. 6a2 will playing April 3 @ The Ground Floor in Belleville. I arranged for Polarized Mind to join us this evening. I'm toying with the above design for t-shirts.

Violence

On one of the many occasions over the years where I've set out to learn Japanese I got a copy of "My Book Of Bible Stories" from Japan. Being written for children the text was a little easier and seemed a good enough place to learn elementary kanji. One of the key differences between the Japanese and English versions is that Japanese edition was in full-color. Maybe that was why I discovered something interesting that I had never noticed before growing up. In one of the illustrations covering the story of the prophetess Deborah, Sisera lays dead with a tent-peg driven into his head as blood trails down his lifeless face. It's hard to notice in B&W but in color the illustration was apparent enough. It was a striking image and I imagined it as a movie.

It got me wondering then as I still ponder today. If you took many of the accounts of the Bible and adapted them to film what rating would they receive? A tent-peg in the head is just a start. What about fat kings gutted with a sword that defecated upon themselves? Fornicators that are pierced together through their genitals by spear?

Today, as is my routine, I checked Roger Ebert's weekly movie reviews and read his review on The Passion. (For the rest of this entry I'm going to ignore the obvious doctrinal problems with this movie and focus on another element of it.) Ebert calls it the most violent movie he's ever seen and goes on to chide the MPAA for not giving it an NC-17 rating that he felt the violence warranted. From what I've heard of the movie the violence depicted should not be unfamiliar to a student of the Bible. The brutality of the Roman flogging has been discussed several times, often in depth, and it still makes me cringe. We've seen countless drawings and paintings of Jesus hung from the torture stake and it's been elaborated upon what that is like, the pain, the suffocation.

But it's weird to think about something of a Biblical nature that you've pictured in your mind or seen in drawings of carrying an R rating, let alone an NC-17. On a basic level I guess the rating fits. It's nothing a child should see because they aren't in a position to comprehend it. However, it still seems "off"; because from a strict Christian standpoint R-rated movies are questionable, and NC-17 movies aren't even in the equation. As Christians we've been warned time and time again against movie violence. For good reason, Hollywood presents violence without morality and it is glorified. But then comes the most violent movie ever produced and the basis of it is the Bible narrative. It's really odd.

Are some things just meant to be read and not seen, like in our Bible dramas when the violence is implied but not shown? Jezebel gets thrown out the window, just before the dogs reach her the curtain is drawn and we break for lunch?

live

Since 6a2 is wrapping up the CD we are starting the process of looking for places to play out. If it were up to me I'd play anywhere. I've got no problem playing clubs (with the exception of strip clubs and country line dance clubs.) However, Brandon doesn't want to play at bars or night clubs so that limits us somewhat.

This new mexican restaraunt had opened up in the St. Louis club district and Elvis the owner has started booking bands to play. Rebekah talked to him on the phone and he told us to bring him a demo CD and he would give us a slot. So Friday we asked Brandon and Jodie to go up there. We figured we would eat, check out the place, and give the guy a CD.

We made it up there around 7:00 and we were pretty hungry. We walk into the place and the decor is Mexican-Catholic. Crosses above each table and a Virgin Mary candle on each table. So what seemed like a perfect non-bar place to play was suddenly not feasible. I was pretty dissapointed. We didn't end up eating there despite starving.

We headed to nearest place to satasfiy our appetite, the tap-room which was a couple blocks over. If you love beer, The Tap Room, is awesome. I tried a Cream Ale that was light but a bit sour. But then I ordered a Smoked Porter which was superb. The food at Tap Room is kind of iffy. They'll take mundane dishes like meatloaf or chicken fried steak and then give it this unusual twist which has dodgy results. For instance I had a sausage on a bun. The usual perfect beer food. But then they lathered the thing with bleau cheese. Why? It's not sophistication so much as eccentricity. Brandon and Jodie had the chicken fried steak which they said was good but I questioned the corn gravy topping it.

Saturday Rebekah took Mina to do group pictures with her cousins. I stayed home and made Baked Ziti with Spicy Pork and Sausage Ragu. It turned out to be a three-hour process but it was delicious enough. I even got to use a new ingredient - Pancetta bacon!

Saturday I drove up to Belleville to check out a new coffee house that was having bands. It actually turned out to be decent. I gave the booking lady our CD. I hope that pans out because they even had a mounted projector which would be perfect for a video accompany to the live set. The bands playing Saturday night were the typical emo/punk high-school punk bands that you can't fart without hitting in this town. It's all the same band with many different names. So so boring.

My parents surprised me by showing up at the meeting this morning. They were in town and decided to drop by. It has been years since they came to our hall. I'm kind of glad that they did so that everyone will stop asking me how they are doing for a while. We went out to eat with a group to Tequila - a mexican joint that doesn't have crosses and St. Theresa of Gaudalupe tapestries.

The Legends

Yeah! Parasol finally got around to selling the debut album from The Legends. I've liked what I've heard so far and can't wait to get the album.

marraige

I was just reviewing my goals for last weekend.

I didn't make the spanish meatballs but I did make a chicken green chili which was decent but not wonderful.

I didn't write any on my new novel. I did do some research which was interesting. I was reading about the origins of our marriage customs and ceremonies. It's interesting to find out the origins of practices we just do out of habit. For instance, during the wedding ceremony when the father "gives away" the bride. This used to serve as legal transfer of "property", his daughter, before witnesses. The father was the owner of the daughter and he was giving this property to the new husband. Also we have the part of the ceremony where the minister asks if anyone would have a reason as to why the couple shouldn't be joined together. This was to give witnesses of the ceremony an opportunity to state whether or not the couple was a.) related and the marriage would be incestous b.) If one or the other was already married to another individual.

We tried to look for eyeglasses. The store where we had bought our current pair had moved. We went to new location that didn't have the same great selection. They just had a few odd pairs on a shelve. I wish buying eyeglasses online was feasible. I know you can do it but I don't know if it would be the smart thing to do.

I watched the Liz Phair concert on DirecTV. We used to have this brother at our hall that had really bad stage fright. When he talked it was so uncomfortable because his voice shook so bad it sounded like he was about ready to cry. Well Liz Phair sounds almost as bad. Her voice shakes but she sounds more like a lamb being strangled. She doesn't so much play her guitar as she holds onto for dear life. She did OK playing her older songs but when she tackled pop songs that the Matrix wrote she really sounded bad.

Speaking of which Rebekah and I re-arranged our pop song we are working on. It's changed now to fit in with the Matrix formula. That is: Intro, Verse 1, Chorus, Verse 2, Chorus, Breakdown, Chorus. I got iZotope "Trash" and I looking forward to using it. I'm hoping it'll help me get a better guitar sound on my recordings. Distortion has always been problematic using Cool Edit's built in distortion effect.

The week begins anew.

tomatillo

Today, to my surprise, we both were up for field service and made it to the Johns' house with seconds (3 to 4) to spare. I guess it helps that they are just a couple blocks away. When it came time to make groups Rebekah said how she didn't want to work with me to which I responded that it was fine thing to do your husband on Valentine's day.

So we did the service thing and then came home and I did the nap thing and then I went solo grocery shopping armed with latest issue of Bon Apetit.

I'm making some sort of chili that uses a whole pound of problano chilis. It also calls for tomatillos. I started filling a bag with the veggies and this old eastern European woman comes over and starts asking how you prepare tomatillos. (I ask again, do I seem approachable?) I had to shrug and claim ignorance. I told her that it was my first-time and I'm just going to husk, chop, and drop them in the chili like the recipe calls for. She eyed me suspiciously and then wished me luck.

The weather is still crummy. Our driveway is a sheet of ice and I ended up sliding under the car the other day. It took me a good couple of minutes to finally get back up as I get slipping. Of course I had to look around and see if anyone saw me humiliate myself.

I hate the cold. The one thing that keeps me from moving North is the winter.

Slip, sliding away

I don't know if I'm langouring in the usual depression or what. I just can't shake the feeling that the world around me is going to hell in a handbasket. I guess to some extent that I expected it but then you see it happening and it is kind of eerie. The odd thing about it is that it's kind of subtle. There is has always been a state of advancing from "bad to worse" but it seems accelerated these days. Like a train gaining momentum right before derailment.

I woke up this morning into a world where religion didn't matter and to still be carrying on like it does makes you really conspicuous, old-fashioned, fanatical. But I'm sticking with it because it just makes sense. The thing I like about being in the truth is that everything is explained. On a certain level I guess it appeals to the heart but it's the logic of it that really keeps me in. You can hold the truth up like a transparency sheet over the world's affairs and you see it for what it is. It's like a secret decoder ring that unlocks everything, past, present, and future.

--

The good news is that it is Friday. What's on the agenda for the weekend? More meatballs (this time Spanish), more music (hopefully finish the "pop" song), field service (need to get back on that horse), shopping for glasses (for Rebekah and me), and maybe work a little on the new novel.

there and back again

I'm getting back in the swing of things after being gone. The worst thing about vacation is coming back and feeling like everything has changed. It also imbues in me a sort of "what am I doing here I should be opening a restaurant" sort of malaise.

I got to try out my new santoku knife last night and made some really great food that Rebekah refused to eat because of the fennel. I made beef and Italian sausage meatballs, with onions and tomatoes. Then I made pasta. The sauce was an off the cuff deal made with garlic, onions, baby portabellos, merlot, tomatoes, and roasted red pepper. I usually suck at marinara sauces but this one turned out to be pretty good. (I cut my finger with the aforementioned santoku knife while trying to cut off the seal on the aforementioned merlot.)

Brandon came over since we had missed the Monday session. We have three songs in the works as well as the redo of Athens that we never got around to. Rather then focus on one song we kind of added bits and pieces to them. We are moving along but I'd rather be done.

Nimrod

I just got done faxing a proposal to an individual named Nimrod Jones (Last named changed to protect me and my job from Google searches.) What kind of a name is Nimrod? Someone in my office says, "It's a Biblical name for a hunter." I had to clarify, "Yeah, a mighty hunter in opposition to God." Wild. Some parents. I'm sure he has a little brother named Baal.

right, write

I just spend the good portion of the day and night and the preceeding day reading a novel (Middlesex if you care) I picked up at Borders to ease boredom of the long drive home.

As I read I feel the desire to write. Sometime when I read I get inspired to try to write as well as the novel in hand. More often than not I want to write because I believe I can write better than what sits open on my lap.

I'm sure I say that with ridiculous conceipt. I'm forced to think of those tuneless bodies who audition for American Idol because they feel in their heart of hearts that they are better than Clay and Reuban and Justin and Kelley. They are sincere but deluded.

So perhaps I am deluded. But does it matter if what I'm doing makes me feel good? Does it matter if I write a story I want to read.

What do I want to read about? I want to read about circus freaks, narwhals, the Great Plague of London, insane asylums, great sea squids, anorectics, and prisons. That's what I'm going to write about.

two, one, zero

I feel like a poodle. Last night I shaved off a good two pounds of body hair in an effort to improve my pool-side image. Rebekah did wonders on me. I've got two cute pom-poms on my hips and around my feet I've got "flippers" (gratuitous Best In Show reference).

So I've been car shopping today for a Ford GT, a steal with a sticker price of $140,000.00. Too bad it's for my boss. He's always good for morale booster on pay day.

I'm so worn out. The problem with going on vacation is that you have to bust your butt before hand to leave your coworkers in good shape and then afterward to catch back up. I feel guilty for leaving for a week. I never miss work. I'm perpetually late; but I never miss.

Rebekah informed me today that I talk to myself in my morning shower. That's weird. I don't remember.

three

Well I'm going to break my strict political neutrality to say that John Kerry looks like the undead - an evil, fey, vampire looking character.

I just dropped .99 into Apple's coffers and downloaded my first iTunes song, "Muskrat Love" by Captain & Tenille. I needed it for my latest video masterpiece, my bosses New Years trip video. I think I've got home movies down to an art. (And now that I listen to the song I think I just might put it on the road-trip mix. It's kind of catchy.)

Brandon came over last night and we worked on what'll be the last of our songs for this 6a2 album. We laid down the drum beat and he sung his lyrics over it and then me and Rebekah struggled to add guitar and bass to it. Well I was the one struggling, Rebekah picked up the tune with relative ease. It is a really involved melody that fried my brain. I was begging for three chords but I ended shooting up and down the fret-board.

School is canceled again so Rebekah and Mina get to stay home while the rest of the world works. In the working world there is no such thing as a snow day. I wish there was because I would really like to go sledding.

four

Winter weather is here and as much as I didn't like to spend the money I'm glad I've got functional windshield wipers.

Mina has a new favorite video is seems. She's been running the Belle & Sebastian DVD constantly. She has weird tastes for a six year old. Last week she kept asking for us to go rent her American Wedding. To which I replied, "Not until you are seven." To which Rebekah swift kicked me in the ribs.

I'm joking. There is abuse in our family but to steal a line from A Mighty Wind "It's mostly musical in nature." Rebekah and I never fight as much as when we are writing a song. Last night it was over the lyrical breakdown for the new 6a2 song - "Forgive-Forget" (The song will have a dirty st. louis remix called "firgive-firget" with guest vocalist Chingy). We finally got it and I'm pleased. I copied liberally from Avril so I know Brandon will hate it. I joked to Beck that we are the new Matrix. She said we could be called the Duplex.

five

I really like the movie "The Ice Storm". Not the subject matter so much as the look of the film. The perfect recreation of the 70's is rad and the muted colors are beautiful. The ice storm at the end of the film is magnificant.

Well I'm looking out the window at our own ice storm and it is not nearly as impressive. In fact it's pretty mild, just barely coating the car. But we just go the call from our PO and the meeting is canceled. So here I sit still in my shorts instead of a suit.

Last night Rebekah and I worked on our musical opus - "Emily and Jessica". (I've been joking that I want to rename it "Nick Lachey and Jessica".) The song clocks in at a heavy 6 minutes and 20 seconds. For an indie pop song that is probably too much. It sounds like indie pop ("dressy bessy", "all girl summer fun camp") but it tells a long winded story about unrequited love like a folk song

So I've gone to my CD's and looking for long songs and figuring out how to make them seem not as long - keeping the interesting. From I what I can tell the trick is to gradually bring in different vocal parts and introduce new instruments. After listening to our rough track it occured to me that the song really needs a violin and a cello and a piano and a trumpet. So now what?

It's my first time doing a song with live drums. I'm using the drum track Amanda laid down when she was up. I don't know. It's a whole different game than 6a2, that's for sure.

six

The other day at the meeting the most remarkable thing happened. I was able to button my jacket!
It all boils down to the usual pre-trip regime. Losing weight is high priority. Not enough weight; but enough to feel good.

Getting the perfect mix-cd ready for the drive. If I had iPod I could delete this step ... but I don't ... so I do. Peppy-perfect driving songs are selected with liberal doses of show tunes for sing-a-longs. This includes Hair and Hedwig. Belle and Sebastian get chucked in as well. Close enough to show tunes to merit singing in four part harmony with Scottish lisps.

Checking the extended (unreliable) four cast for the destination and trying to divine sense from it. One day it shows rain all day and the next time I check it shows sunshine and the next time I check it shows snows.

Reading, reading, and rereading my Frommer's travel guide - just in case I missed something the first twelve times. This is accompanied by canceling and making reservations for dinners when something new strikes my fancy.

Psyching myself up to go on the 120-foot high water slide that drops you down at 60mph. I have two big phobias heights and speed, to overcome.

seven

I got the new Belle & Sebastian DVD "For Fans Only". Part music video, part documentary, part live performance it served to solidify my appreciation for this group. You watch a band like that and you really want to go and make music.

It also makes you want to be more "indie". But how? I'm starting by rocking the hardcover "green" New World Translation. I'm gonna take it step further and get one that has an old lady's name embossed on the cover. Ethel? Beatrice? Flora?

I'm really sick of seeing the stupid Atkin's diet everywhere I look. It's so dumb seeing these fast food restaraunts tripping over themselves to get a piece of the action. How much of a joke is a stinking hamburger wrapped in big lettuce leaf? These fads diets need to die. They always do but this one is really going strong. The orange juice grower's of America are threatening to sue South Beach and Atkins because they encourage participants not to drink juice. Avoid fruit? That's sound health advice.

My boss has his own diet which is intriguing. He has lost a ton of weight. The gimmick? You eat one meal a day (in the afternoon) and drink (alcohol) heavily at night. What can I say? It works but his near-daily hangover isn't very pleasent to deal with.

I was also listening to the radio yesterday about a guy who stabbed his mother. She was one of Jehovah's Witnesses so in the emergency room she refused a blood transfusion. She ended up dying. The radio talk show host was asking the listeners wether or not the guy should be charged with homicide. The theory being the lady died because she chose not to take blood.

The whole thing reaked and I had to turn it off because it was just pissing me off. Every person and their mother was calling up with these b.s. notions about what "Jehovahs" believe. Stupid ideas like they don't believe in the New Testament to they don't believe in medical treatment. From the get go the program had a bias slant. The truth of the matter is this: THE LADY DIED BECAUSE SHE GOT STABBED NOT BECAUSE SHE REFUSED A BLOOD TRANSFUSION!

Blood transfusions are bad medicine. We have a hospital in St. Louis with an entire wing dedicated to bloodless surgery. Not just for Jehovah's Witnesses but because the doctors believe in it for all patients. I guess some people are gradually getting the point but others are still stuck in this turn of the century way of thinking.

nine

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to grow old and feel young. This is a difficult concept to explain. I think that our perception of what it means to be old is based on people older than us while our perception of youth is based on our own youth. Do we expect that when we are age 60 we will act and think like people who are 60 right now? But seniors today have attitudes there are the culmination of generations we were not a part of. They lived in environments that are foreign to us. No matter how old we lived to be we will never share those things and to that end as a generation our thoughts and actions will not match. What does it mean to feel old? I think the only way we can feel old is on physical level. We can sense we no longer have the vigor of youth. I think we can also feel old when our own ideas and values no longer match the world at large - the feeling that we are old-fashioned. Our ideas and attitudes evolve over time; however, our core beliefs will tend to stay the same. When you are eighty I guess you will think the same way you thought as a twenty year old but with some refinements.

So I'm really not trying to be deep or thoughtful or anything like that. I just want to capture some of these ideas as they hit me. Otherwise I'll forget them.

ten

It's interesting the attitudes toward religion among the youth (30 and younger) these days.

They boil down to two major schools of thought:

Anti-Religion: "Religion is a dangerous element to society that we are better off without. The religious books are myths and the morals expounded within are largely old-fashioned. Religious people are close-minded and ignorant."

Pro-Religion: "Religion is an important part of society. However no religion is better than another. The important thing is that someone observes a moral code and believes in a higher power of some sort. Adherence to an organized religion is not necessary (and in some cases not desirable)."

I wonder which of the two will ultimately win out? The anti-religion stance has remained pretty much the same for the last century. The pro-religion stance has waned in order to keep with the times. How long before it goes away completely? Where does this lead?

Anti-religion could see the abolishment of all religious groups (or at least see them delegated to niche status). Pro-religion could see the old denominations replaced by a global, everything to everyone religion.

stranded

For the last year our windshield wipers have been on and off. Finally they shut completely off as the motor coughed up its last breath. On Saturday I found myself rained in all day without wipers. This was compounded by an empty refrigerator. It's bad when you are considering soy sauce and stale triscuits as a lunch. Eventually we broke down and ordered an overpriced pizza from pizza hut. So this week we'll have to find the time and the cash for the $240 (yes, two-hundred and fourty dollars!) windshield wiper motor.

Rebekah and I worked on a new 6a2 song on Sunday. I think I'm in love, with Rebekah and the song. I joke about liking pop divas - Mandy, Christina, Avril. There is an element of truth in it. I can appreciate a well crafted pop song. Junk food is satisfying, is it not? Well the new song we are working on captures that spirit. It's not a perfect carbon-copy but close. The verse starts out as 80's synth pop - depeche mode but then the chorus kicks in and it launches straight into 90's teen girl pop music. It's so delicious.

This week and next will be a slow, agonizing countdown to vacation. I just need to keep busy . . .

i dunno

I've been working hard in all the wrong places lately. I don't mind working hard to the point where the day passes quickly by. I don't like working so hard that I can only go home and crash on the bed.

But that's what I've been doing. Then I have to haul myself out of comfortable bed and get dressed for the meeting. I want to sleep but I already missed the Tuesday book study so I can't bring myself to miss another meeting.

And so I go and walk around with an air of being worn that scares people away. More so than usual. Really I don't hate people so much as I hate conversation. I'd be fine if I could just stand next to someone and smile and nod and not even open my mouth. But people want chat. I have no chat to give them.

I only bounce around to the same couple of people and call it a night. I talk to Ryan about video games. Richard about movies. Brandon about when we are getting together next. Then I sit down and wait for the meeting to start.

The Bible highlights dealt with the flood which is my absolute favorite part of the Bible. The brother giving the talk goes on and on about how difficult it would've been for Noah to build the ark by hand. We always assume these ancient people were primitive - are thoughts clouded by modern day Scientific notions of stone ages, bronze ages, industrial ages. I think of it a different way. (Perhaps not a better way, but an alternate)

In just a couple generations from the time of Adam the Bible says that people were forging metal and playing music and building cities. They had a good perfect start. Their minds were still pretty sharp. Now add a thousand years of advancement BEFORE the flood and imagine what they would have accomplished. Look at how much our technology has advanced in the last 100 years! Pre-flood humanity had other things going for them as well. Long lifespans to build on their knowledge. One language to share thoughts and ideas. I guess you could even speculate that renegade angels walking around could've been adding to knowledge (certainly not in a good way).

It was just something to think about really. When I'm tired and moody and not able to focus on the meeting proper.

It came from the deep

Saturday afternoon we had our new appliances delivered. Prior to this we filled two garbage bags with the contents of the old refrigerator. I swear one bag was entirely full of fast food condiments. It's good to get a fresh start. It looks so good to open the Frigidaire door and see near barren shelves. It takes me back to less affluent days.

Amanda came over Saturday night and we recorded drum tracks in between watching the Rams get defeated. I had a three mic setup going which seemed to work out decently. Two overheads (in stereo) and one pointed at the bass drum. I was pleased with the results.

Sunday we had a substitute circuit overseer who was lively enough. Rebekah and I came home and tidied up a 6a2 song that we have had in the works for the last couple of weeks. Brandon is the king of the breakup song. That is the subject matter of 90% of his songs. But I can't complain when they are all winners. If you are inclined, check out "Conclusion".

I'm Published

My sister did some artist editions of a small children's book we did together. I wrote the thing and she did the illustrations and bound the thing. It's kind of neat.

I've also been thinking seriously of diving back into my novel. I'm ready to edit it. It'll be more than adding commas. I'll have to tear it down and build it up piece by piece, word by word, sentence by sentence.

Am I ready to publish it? There is a part of me that wants to finish it, lock it up, and forget about it. It would be a scary thing to have it out there with my name on the cover. I guess that is what pseudonyms are for.

Ask a stupid question, get a million viruses

It is at times like this that my disdain for Microsoft grows. I had a question about their SQL Server product that I posted on one Microsoft's newsgroups. Since then my e-mail has been slammed by viruses. At least five daily. Fortunately, I the virus blocker on the server is kicking them out. It's still annoying.

But even more annoying was the stupid vegan girl at Subway last night. She was with a group of friends and making a huge, loud production about how she didn't eat meat.

Vegan Girl: "I don't know what I can eat here. I guess lettuce and bread. Y'know I'm a vegetarian."

Friend #1: "I think I'm gonna go across the street to KFC"

Vegan Girl: "Me too. I'm going to get some mashed potatoes because I'm vegetarian."

Friend #2: "KFC sounds good."

Vegan Girl: "You want me to pick you up something? I could get you some green beans and ... ... what's it called? ... y'know that stuff on the bone. I don't know what it's called because I don't eat meat"

Anthony: "CHICKEN! It's called chicken! I get it you're vegetarian. Does that also make you stupid?"

Well that I didn't yell at her. But I wanted to. Bad.

something felt

Amanda made it over last night and we played for the first time in years.

getting fixed

I spent part of the weekend fixing things. I bought a pipe snake and tore into a nasty clog that was causing our kitchen sink to back up into our tub. (It's really gross to go to take a shower and find yourself staring at the reminents of last weeks tacos.)

The real achievement was fixing the faulting vibrato on my combo-organ. I soldered on some new capacitors on the circuit board. Once I tackle the tone decay it should be running like a dream.

We went to the zoo Saturday at Mina's prompting. The zoo during the winter is great. You've got the place to yourself. The animals appear more at ease. The only bad spot was the broken hot cocoa machine - it would've made for a better day.

I'm looking forward to this week. My sister is coming up for a visit and I'm gonna try to cram in some quality recording time. Rebekah and I have been writing songs using the drum machine but we sorely need a real drummer for these tracks. I'm dying to get these songs laid down.